Making (And Keeping) Friends Through All Stages of Life

I find the act of having friends changes many times through life. Is anyone out there still friends with kids from Kindergarten?   I'd guess very few. I used to think I was not good at making friends, but I've since decided that's not the case. Sometimes the people you think you want to befriend are not the ones you should befriend.

It took me a long time to figure out who I actually wanted to be friends with in high school. Turns out who I thought I liked I didn't connect with. The problem turned out to be me. I didn't know who I was, so how could I know who to surround myself with? Once I embraced my quirks and individuality I found those people who liked me for me (and my quirks!)

Now that I'm a grownup and a mom, I feel friends are much different than when I was a kid.  I had a collection of highschool friends, then University friends, and now, while I still talk to some of those past friends, my friend requirements have changed again.  It's easy to be friends at school when you all have classes together, or live together, or share teams and other interests.  Once you are truly on your own some of those friendships are hard to keep alive.  For me, I moved into marriage and kids which left some of my friends behind.  They were on the same path, just lagging a bit further behind than me.  Also I moved apart from my friends - even thought we are still in the same town we are scattered around so we don't bump into each other without significant planning.

Once you throw kids into the mix, all bets are off.  I chose to breastfeed, which means being with your baby 24/7 for what feels like ever.  In reality it's like 4 months until baby can sleep for a long stretch or be more amused by other people, before mom (milk factory) can escape for a bit.  I think it's normal to lose some non-parent friends at this stage.  You're not in the same life phase, and oftentimes they just don't get what life is like with kids.  But you are also in a perfect place to make new-parent friends.  They can be found a playgroups, libraries, daycare centres etc.

Right now, in my life, I have very few friends that I see socially.  I'm 35, married, 2 kids ages 4 and 6, working 30+ hours per week and blogging.  There are a lot of people I think of as friends, but the categories they fall into are more co-worker, neighbour, and friends I talk to online but rarely see in person.  And then, of course, there's my husband who's my best friend, and the friend I spend all my time with. :)

I try to plan and coordinate events or things to do with my friends, but life is busy for everyone.  Now that my kids are finally out of toddlerhood and are happy with Dad or babysitter putting them to bed, I'm finding it easier to get out more.  This Friday night I'm going to a concert - but likely by myself as I haven't found that perfect music-loving friend that would enjoy it as much as me.

Not sure if there's a moral to my story, but I've always been interested in the social changes people go through in life.  Anyone out there have any other thoughts on making friends throughout life?  Or tips for maintaining friendships through the busy stages of life?  Please leave a comment if you read this all the way through (it's a long post for me!) and share your friend-making stories.  Hope you enjoyed!

Toodles!

Working Mom Stress

I am currently quite content with my work life/home life balance.  I work 4 days a week with my day off being Wednesday, which breaks up the week quite nicely.  I use my day off for fun things like laundry, groceries, vacuumming, general tidying and sometimes (only sometimes mind you) a haircut or waxing appointment. The kids are at school and daycare, but I usually collect them early so we can get homework done and have some time together.  It's been working out very nicely.

Now one of the girls at work has given her notice and we will be short staffed on Wednesdays.  Logical that I would jump back into the Wednesday shifts I worked a year or more ago.  But I don't want to - and I have a boss who asks your opinion (usually) before big changes are made, which is great, but saying I don't want to work Wednesdays does not mean I will not get scheduled on Wednesdays.  I've already given a list of days I'm unavailable, based on appointments and plans made earlier under the assumption that I wouldn't be working those days - and that actually turned out to be almost half the Wednesdays of the summer.  I do hope boss-man does think about hiring someone part-time.  I'm feeling serious anxiety about the whole thing.

To top it off, eldest daughter is enrolled in a modelling/acting/talent course at an agency, and when she completes that (at the end of July) they will be marketing her for jobs in that arena.  That means there's the potential for auditions and such in Toronto or other areas that we would have to plan around with short notice.  Also not looking good for short-staff problems at my workplace.  I did inform boss-man of this as well, in hopes of enticing him to think seriously about hiring other help.

Toodles!

Staying Active

I need some ideas and inspiration. Where do you other busy moms (and dads) fit exercise into your weeks? I try really hard to sneak crunches or squats into my days - at work, while the kids are playing, sometimes even in the washroom (if I was lucky enough to be alone to do my business!)  On Wednesdays I usually manage a workout of some sort, usually a walk with a few minutes of jog thrown in. I also garden, which can be a great workout in itself, and I park 10 minutes from work which helps me the other days of the week.

Does anyone have other suggestions of "activity" I could sneak into a week, or a day?   Please comment if you do - I need more inspiration!

Toodles!

This Mom's Week

A normal week for me consists of working Mondays and Thursdays 9:30 til 6; Tuesday 8:30 til 5; and Friday 9:30 til 6.  Sometimes these hours change, occasionally there's a Saturday shift, but generally Wednesdays are my day for myself (and by that I mean my day to catch up on housework and grocery shopping).

On Saturdays my youngest has her dance class at 10:30am.  The rest of the day is "free."  On Sundays the girl's Nanny takes them to church and often keeps them for the day, so more "free time" until dinner when the family gathers to eat together - which I think is a great tradition to continue.  Monday nights I leave work and pick up my oldest from her 2 hours of dance class which ends at 6:30 and then whisk her home to eat and do homework and whatever other evening tasks are necessary before 8pm bedtime.  Luckily my husband keeps my 4 year old and gets her to bed before we even make it home.  Tuesdays are similar where my eldest goes to her "modelling class" until 6:30 and then I have to get the girls (hubby keeps the younger one with him at work), do dinner for both the girls and get the younger to bed before meltdown time (which is anytime between 7 and 7:30).  The rest of the week is usually more relaxed, thankfully, and I can actually spend time with the girls.

I've gotta get to work - more later!

Toodles!