My Disrupted 'Me Day'

Wednesdays are my day for me.  I'm (usually) home, husband and kid free, for most of the day.  I use this time to do laundry, sometimes tackle an organizing project or area of the house, do some other random cleaning (or baking!), and on a good day also throw in some exercise time.  Oh, and I have at least one show I watch recorded from earlier in the week that I catch up on on a Wednesday.

This has been my schedule for a while now.  When I'm home alone I feel like I can be so much more productive.  And now I schedule in blog stuff on Wednesdays as well.  I aim to create one post and do 2 hours of reading of books I've been asked to review.  Oh, and I try to sift through Twitter and FB feeds of other people (and blogs) I enjoy, as well as visiting my influencer-style websites I've joined.  My days are pretty full up now, I guess, after I see it all written out!

Anyway, this past Wednesday started out just fine.  I shovelled out the end of the driveway (with hubbys help) and then I came in and had ice cream for breakfast - with bananas so it wasn't a total fail! - while I watched my show.  After that I spent a few minutes online, browsing through Twitter and other blog-related pages, and half-assed watching another show on tv.  And then hubby came home.

It's not especially abnormal for him to come home occasionally during the day.  Sometimes he needs lunch, or he forgot something, or he just had a half hour to spare between jobs.  But this week he was HOME.  As in not going anywhere.  And it wasn't even lunch time!  I hadn't done anything (besides the hefty load of shovelling) but put some laundry in and watch some tv.  I thought I might go for a walk with the camera and see what snow-related beauty I could find. (Did I mention we'd had almost 50cms of snow the day before?)

So that disrupted my whole day.  I didn't know what to do.  Do I make him lunch, or go ahead and have that entire freezer pizza I'd planned to eat myself?  Should I pretend to look more busy than I was?  I don't think he knows how much stuff I do checking up on all my blog related sites and pages and influencer stuff.  It just looks like I'm wasting time on the net (which I'm sometimes doing too.)

And then he wants to talk to me.  I'm trying to be wife-y and sit near him while I'm reading my book and he's "working" on his computer - which I'll say looks to me like what I'm sure I look like to him when I'm trying to catch up on other people's blogs and stuff - but then he wants to talk.  Not saying I don't like talking to him, but I'm reading here!  And for reviews even, so can I just sit and read?

Then we get the call that Rose is not feeling well at school.  So we collect her and bring her home, but at least she then goes to bed and sleeps for an hour or more.  But now I feel my day is shot.  It's 2pm, I've only got one load of laundry through, we might as well meet Emma at the bus so we don't have to schlep over to daycare later to collect her, and I'm thinking about what time I should start dinner so it's ready to eat before we have to take miss Emma to dance class.

My saving grace was actually being the chauffeur parent, and taking Emma to her Wednesday night dance classes (for 2 hours!)  I managed to sit quietly with some other Moms also doing work and finish reading my book and create my review.  I even got a chapter into my next book!  My dance teacher and some of the ladies from the Monday night adult ballet class thought I should join them for the Wednesday adult ballet (which is a level above what I do on Mondays) but I'm not ready.  I do love to watch them though!

Moral of the story?  Don't put too much stock into alone time - it doesn't always work out like you hoped it would!  At least not when you're a parent.  I survived my day, and did feel accomplished at the end of it.  And it gave me fodder for a blog post - so win win!

Leave me a comment about your botched "me time" plans (or lack of plans), or just say hi so I know you read this to the end!  Thanks loyal readers.

~Jess

My Musings On Reviewing Books

I've finished reading the first book I received after joining up with Tweet Your Books.  I've had many more people approach me to do reviews, but only one other has already mailed me his books.  E-books are the most popular form offered to do reviews on, but I don't like to read on my electronic devices.  Guess I'm a bit old fashioned!

I also feel like authors don't create physical copies of their books for "testing" purposes.  As a reviewer who has to make time in my life to read the books with my full attention (as opposed to skimming it while kids are talking non-stop in the background) I don't like thinking that the authors don't value my time.  By that I mean that a physical copy of a book has to be created and then mailed (which costs a few pennies, I'm sure) while an e-book doesn't cost anything anywhere along the way.  I'd like to think my time is worth something, so I give priority to authors who are willing to send me a book I can sneak away and read in a quiet corner of my home.

To my fellow readers - there will be more book reviews appearing on my blog.  I hope to keep them well interspersed with my other posts and musings of the world around me.  I'm also reaching out as an influencer so I may be chosen for other reviews (products maybe) which I will also enjoy writing about.  I will always let you know if I'm being paid to talk about an item, or reviewing products I received for free.

Please let me know if you feel I'm doing too many "review" posts and not enough "personal" style posts.  I want to create content people are enjoying, so feedback is really important for me!

In case you aren't aware I do have two other blogs that I post to less frequently than this one.  One is Kingston, Ontario centric - talking about what's on around town and/or what we are about to (are already did) do as family activities.  That one is Modern Mom In Kingston.  The other blog reflects more about my daughters.  What they're doing, how they're growing and changing, and a little about Emma's modelling and acting "career" (where nothing has really happened yet...)  That blog is 2 Talented Daughters.

As always - thanks for reading.  My next post will be a book review but I have few half-formed ideas for other posts floating through my brain as well.  Stay tuned!

~Jess

Making Time To Blog Is Hard - I Need Help!

When do you blog?  I was going great gangbusters when I started this blog (in the spring and early summer) but now that we're back to school and other life is happening I don't feel like I have time!

Currently I've spent a lot of time increasing my Twitter followers (and following) and trying to share my FB page with more folks.  I've been checking my affiliate sites, reading other blogs, and also trying to have a home life.  All that seems to have eaten into my blogging time.

Also we just had Thanksgiving, so that ate up an entire (long) weekend.  Don't get me wrong, it was a delicious, beautiful, family-type weekend, but it didn't leave me much quiet time.

I know scheduling is key when trying to build up a blog.  The problem I'm having is one part writers block and one part hoping to have time to me - and just to me, not blogging, gardening, cooking, laundry doing, working etc.  Those moments are hard to find.

My schedule currently involves working 4 eight-hour days, with one day off for me to get stuff done.  This week I have appointments on my day off, and I need to get stuff together for my daughter's Halloween party next weekend, as well as my foray into a live Rocky Horror Picture Show performance - think costumes, hair, props, the works!  And I'd like to get groceries and do laundry - regular mom stuff.

So then there's evenings after work.  I get home (at 5:30 or 6:30 depending on the shift) and either make, or just eat, dinner.  Try to get Emma to do homework before Rose has to go to bed (at 7:00) and then get Emma to bed by 8.  All that is often accomplished by 8:30 and then it's "my time."  So I clean up dinner, do dishwasher stuff, start or switch laundry, and sweep the dinner mess off the floor, if I didn't get that done before bedtime starts.  Some nights I also clean up toys and then, if I'm lucky, I sit down.  Hubby will have the tv on but I'm only good for maybe an hour before I fall asleep on the couch.

I try, often, to blog while the tv is on.  Some nights it works, some nights it really does not.  Depends on what's on, or how tired I am.  I'm one of those people that needs 8 hours of sleep almost every night to be functional the next day.  Yes, the newborn and baby years were hell-on-earth for me.  Luckily my sleeps are much less disturbed these days, so I can pull a few later nights if I have to.  But when I'm tired I can't form coherent thoughts, let alone interesting blog posts!

Tonight I've been crafting this post while the girls eat dinner - I've had an upset tummy all day, so no loss to me if I'm not eating with them - and now they're watching some tv and looking through the costume bin and Halloween decorations.  By the time I'm done here I figure I will have been "writing" for 45 minutes.  And really, what have I written about?  Mostly nothing.  No deep thoughts or well-researched articles.  Just fluff about how I don't have time to post anything!

So share with me your schedules, or routines.  How do you blog (and promote!), as well as do affiliate stuff and keep up with other blogs - and be moms or dads, husbands or wives, or any other functioning members of society?  Maybe with the cooler weather creeping in I may have less desire to be outside, or be doing anything else, frankly.

Really I'm just desperately curious to hear how fellow bloggers manage it all.  I really thought I'd just be writing stuff, I did not realize so much came with blogging (if you want people to actually read your stuff!)

Do You Find Time To Read? A Voracious Reader's Decline In The Face Of Family Life

I received the book I'm supposed to review.  Dane Cobain mailed me the book from the UK.  It's a first-run copy, with a personalized note to me in the front.  So awesome!

Angels by Dane Cobain

I am totally a book nerd.  He asked me if I wanted the digital copy.  I don't do "digital" reading, unless it's blog stuff or interesting articles (or anything on Facebook...)  I need a book in my hands, otherwise my focus wanders.  So here is my new book!

So I would like to hear from other busy family people.  If you liked to read before (significant others, kids, careers etc) do you still find time to read now, as much as you'd like?  Now that my daughters are older, I'm finding it a tiny bit easier to sneak in some book time, but it's still rare.

I often try to read before bed.  That is never a good idea, as I drift off after about 10 minutes, unless it's a really (and I mean amazingly, crazy, super) riveting read.  I found the Game of Thrones series great for putting me to sleep - not because it wasn't interesting (I actually loved the series!) but because it was complicated and so many things were going on over so many books I really had to be awake to focus on it all!

On my quiet Wednesdays I can usually carve out an hour, at least, to read whatever I like.  This week it will be this book (to be reviewed as No Rest For The Wicked - watch for that to appear in the next week or so!) and I hope to make a sizeable dent in it.  I'd love to finish reading it for the weekend.

In my previous (before kids) life I could polish this little book off in about 2 days.  I don't think that will happen this week.  When my husband saw it he joked I could read it in one sitting.  It's true there was a time I could, but that time is not now.

This is a pic of the inscription.  In case you can't read it, it says:

Hi Jess, Thanks so much for agreeing to review No Rest For The Wicked.  This is one of fifteen copies that I had printed before I signed with Forsaken - enjoy your rare book. :)
All the best, Dane Cobain

How fun is that??  If my review of this book makes him an international superstar, I'll have a super rare pre-publisher copy!

So needless to say, I'm super stoked to read this book.  It better be good, I don't want to have a write a bad review!  But I don't want to start reading it until I know I have some serious time to devote to reading.  Occasionally I have a tough time getting into a story, and I don't want that to be the case here.

How do you find time to read in your busy family lives?  Short of going outside to read on the deck, I find it hard to fit reading into the daylight hours.  Well, unless I'm at work where I can read on my breaks.  But then it's getting through a book in 15 minute chunks which isn't ideal (at least for me and my reading style).  And then I often have 2 books (at least) on the go, one at work and one at home, which can cause it's own confusion if they're similar at all.

Well, wish me luck setting aside time to get lost in my new book.  And watch for my review sometime in the next week.  I'm sure I'll enjoy this story, and hopefully you'll enjoy my review of it as well!

Making (And Keeping) Friends Through All Stages of Life

I find the act of having friends changes many times through life. Is anyone out there still friends with kids from Kindergarten?   I'd guess very few. I used to think I was not good at making friends, but I've since decided that's not the case. Sometimes the people you think you want to befriend are not the ones you should befriend.

It took me a long time to figure out who I actually wanted to be friends with in high school. Turns out who I thought I liked I didn't connect with. The problem turned out to be me. I didn't know who I was, so how could I know who to surround myself with? Once I embraced my quirks and individuality I found those people who liked me for me (and my quirks!)

Now that I'm a grownup and a mom, I feel friends are much different than when I was a kid.  I had a collection of highschool friends, then University friends, and now, while I still talk to some of those past friends, my friend requirements have changed again.  It's easy to be friends at school when you all have classes together, or live together, or share teams and other interests.  Once you are truly on your own some of those friendships are hard to keep alive.  For me, I moved into marriage and kids which left some of my friends behind.  They were on the same path, just lagging a bit further behind than me.  Also I moved apart from my friends - even thought we are still in the same town we are scattered around so we don't bump into each other without significant planning.

Once you throw kids into the mix, all bets are off.  I chose to breastfeed, which means being with your baby 24/7 for what feels like ever.  In reality it's like 4 months until baby can sleep for a long stretch or be more amused by other people, before mom (milk factory) can escape for a bit.  I think it's normal to lose some non-parent friends at this stage.  You're not in the same life phase, and oftentimes they just don't get what life is like with kids.  But you are also in a perfect place to make new-parent friends.  They can be found a playgroups, libraries, daycare centres etc.

Right now, in my life, I have very few friends that I see socially.  I'm 35, married, 2 kids ages 4 and 6, working 30+ hours per week and blogging.  There are a lot of people I think of as friends, but the categories they fall into are more co-worker, neighbour, and friends I talk to online but rarely see in person.  And then, of course, there's my husband who's my best friend, and the friend I spend all my time with. :)

I try to plan and coordinate events or things to do with my friends, but life is busy for everyone.  Now that my kids are finally out of toddlerhood and are happy with Dad or babysitter putting them to bed, I'm finding it easier to get out more.  This Friday night I'm going to a concert - but likely by myself as I haven't found that perfect music-loving friend that would enjoy it as much as me.

Not sure if there's a moral to my story, but I've always been interested in the social changes people go through in life.  Anyone out there have any other thoughts on making friends throughout life?  Or tips for maintaining friendships through the busy stages of life?  Please leave a comment if you read this all the way through (it's a long post for me!) and share your friend-making stories.  Hope you enjoyed!

Toodles!

Working Mom Stress

I am currently quite content with my work life/home life balance.  I work 4 days a week with my day off being Wednesday, which breaks up the week quite nicely.  I use my day off for fun things like laundry, groceries, vacuumming, general tidying and sometimes (only sometimes mind you) a haircut or waxing appointment. The kids are at school and daycare, but I usually collect them early so we can get homework done and have some time together.  It's been working out very nicely.

Now one of the girls at work has given her notice and we will be short staffed on Wednesdays.  Logical that I would jump back into the Wednesday shifts I worked a year or more ago.  But I don't want to - and I have a boss who asks your opinion (usually) before big changes are made, which is great, but saying I don't want to work Wednesdays does not mean I will not get scheduled on Wednesdays.  I've already given a list of days I'm unavailable, based on appointments and plans made earlier under the assumption that I wouldn't be working those days - and that actually turned out to be almost half the Wednesdays of the summer.  I do hope boss-man does think about hiring someone part-time.  I'm feeling serious anxiety about the whole thing.

To top it off, eldest daughter is enrolled in a modelling/acting/talent course at an agency, and when she completes that (at the end of July) they will be marketing her for jobs in that arena.  That means there's the potential for auditions and such in Toronto or other areas that we would have to plan around with short notice.  Also not looking good for short-staff problems at my workplace.  I did inform boss-man of this as well, in hopes of enticing him to think seriously about hiring other help.

Toodles!

One of Those Days

Some days I just can't handle my mom life.  Everything irks me: the kids are too loud, the dishes are piled up just for me, everyone's shoes are in the middle of the floor and I can't escape even for 2 minutes.  On these days sometimes I just want to go "home"...until I realize I am home and the "home" I'm thinking of I gave up 15 years ago to move forward into adulthood.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mom life.  These little people who just want to sit with (or on) me all the time just because they love me are fabulous and a continuous sense of wonder and joy in my life.  But once in a while I like some "me" time.  Even when I have time at home without the girls I rarely take time just for me.  I'll go get groceries and do dishes and laundry, sweep the floors, and clean up the toys that I keep stepping on, before everyone gets home to eat the food, dirty the dishes and create more mess and laundry.  It's a vicious cycle.

Now that I'm blogging (which I am enjoying immensely by the way) I've taken away a few more of those quiet minutes I try to sneak during the day.  But the writing actually allows me to unburden myself of some of those feelings that get pent up when you are frustrated with your kids or family.  I really don't want to yell at the kids, or be upset with my hubby, when I don't know why I'm frustrated in the first place.  So by taking time out to write about it I can feel my feelings and describe what went on (if I really want to) and work through it.  For me it's quite therapeutic.

In case you haven't picked up on it, it's been one of 'those' weekends.  Hubby was away all day yesterday so I had to deal with every need/want/crisis etc that cropped up.  Thankfully it was an alright day, but when the neighbour kids congregate in our yard I feel like I have to "mom" them too, and so I truck out snacks and drinks and whatever else they may need as well as tending to my own offspring.  I love that the kids like to play in our yard, and it keeps it easy for me to watch over them (without helicoptering) but sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  Sometimes when I'm alone after the kids go to bed I just sit and have a little cry, and I don't really even know why, but it releases some of the tension I was feeling during the day.

I don't think it's too much to ask to be able to drink my tea while it's hot, or surf the internet for 5 minutes without someone climbing into my lap and demanding to "play games!" or even read a book for more than 2 minutes at a time (and subsequently reading the same two pages over and over.)  But I guess such is the life of a mom!

Toodles!

This Mom's Week

A normal week for me consists of working Mondays and Thursdays 9:30 til 6; Tuesday 8:30 til 5; and Friday 9:30 til 6.  Sometimes these hours change, occasionally there's a Saturday shift, but generally Wednesdays are my day for myself (and by that I mean my day to catch up on housework and grocery shopping).

On Saturdays my youngest has her dance class at 10:30am.  The rest of the day is "free."  On Sundays the girl's Nanny takes them to church and often keeps them for the day, so more "free time" until dinner when the family gathers to eat together - which I think is a great tradition to continue.  Monday nights I leave work and pick up my oldest from her 2 hours of dance class which ends at 6:30 and then whisk her home to eat and do homework and whatever other evening tasks are necessary before 8pm bedtime.  Luckily my husband keeps my 4 year old and gets her to bed before we even make it home.  Tuesdays are similar where my eldest goes to her "modelling class" until 6:30 and then I have to get the girls (hubby keeps the younger one with him at work), do dinner for both the girls and get the younger to bed before meltdown time (which is anytime between 7 and 7:30).  The rest of the week is usually more relaxed, thankfully, and I can actually spend time with the girls.

I've gotta get to work - more later!

Toodles!