Wednesdays are my day for me. I'm (usually) home, husband and kid free, for most of the day. I use this time to do laundry, sometimes tackle an organizing project or area of the house, do some other random cleaning (or baking!), and on a good day also throw in some exercise time. Oh, and I have at least one show I watch recorded from earlier in the week that I catch up on on a Wednesday.
This has been my schedule for a while now. When I'm home alone I feel like I can be so much more productive. And now I schedule in blog stuff on Wednesdays as well. I aim to create one post and do 2 hours of reading of books I've been asked to review. Oh, and I try to sift through Twitter and FB feeds of other people (and blogs) I enjoy, as well as visiting my influencer-style websites I've joined. My days are pretty full up now, I guess, after I see it all written out!
Anyway, this past Wednesday started out just fine. I shovelled out the end of the driveway (with hubbys help) and then I came in and had ice cream for breakfast - with bananas so it wasn't a total fail! - while I watched my show. After that I spent a few minutes online, browsing through Twitter and other blog-related pages, and half-assed watching another show on tv. And then hubby came home.
It's not especially abnormal for him to come home occasionally during the day. Sometimes he needs lunch, or he forgot something, or he just had a half hour to spare between jobs. But this week he was HOME. As in not going anywhere. And it wasn't even lunch time! I hadn't done anything (besides the hefty load of shovelling) but put some laundry in and watch some tv. I thought I might go for a walk with the camera and see what snow-related beauty I could find. (Did I mention we'd had almost 50cms of snow the day before?)
So that disrupted my whole day. I didn't know what to do. Do I make him lunch, or go ahead and have that entire freezer pizza I'd planned to eat myself? Should I pretend to look more busy than I was? I don't think he knows how much stuff I do checking up on all my blog related sites and pages and influencer stuff. It just looks like I'm wasting time on the net (which I'm sometimes doing too.)
And then he wants to talk to me. I'm trying to be wife-y and sit near him while I'm reading my book and he's "working" on his computer - which I'll say looks to me like what I'm sure I look like to him when I'm trying to catch up on other people's blogs and stuff - but then he wants to talk. Not saying I don't like talking to him, but I'm reading here! And for reviews even, so can I just sit and read?
Then we get the call that Rose is not feeling well at school. So we collect her and bring her home, but at least she then goes to bed and sleeps for an hour or more. But now I feel my day is shot. It's 2pm, I've only got one load of laundry through, we might as well meet Emma at the bus so we don't have to schlep over to daycare later to collect her, and I'm thinking about what time I should start dinner so it's ready to eat before we have to take miss Emma to dance class.
My saving grace was actually being the chauffeur parent, and taking Emma to her Wednesday night dance classes (for 2 hours!) I managed to sit quietly with some other Moms also doing work and finish reading my book and create my review. I even got a chapter into my next book! My dance teacher and some of the ladies from the Monday night adult ballet class thought I should join them for the Wednesday adult ballet (which is a level above what I do on Mondays) but I'm not ready. I do love to watch them though!
Moral of the story? Don't put too much stock into alone time - it doesn't always work out like you hoped it would! At least not when you're a parent. I survived my day, and did feel accomplished at the end of it. And it gave me fodder for a blog post - so win win!
Leave me a comment about your botched "me time" plans (or lack of plans), or just say hi so I know you read this to the end! Thanks loyal readers.
~Jess
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, 18 February 2016
Wednesday, 17 February 2016
Kids And Responsibility - We Must Have Done Something Right
I never imagined, in my wildest dreams, how "good" my kids would turn out to be. In the beginning I (almost) thought we had made a mistake choosing to birth out our first tiny creature that consumed every minute of our existence for the first 6 months of her life. The non-stop crying and nursing (and sleepless nights, and mom tears) I now see were totally worth it.
My first baby is now 7 years old. We have had tons of struggles with her in the intervening years, but I am now starting to see her blossoming into her own person with her own personality. Not to say she hasn't had personality since she's been born (because she definitely has!) but she has begun to display more independent and responsible traits.
Since my first baby we did create and birth out a second creature, but she's only 4 and is still a bit stuck on her toddler traits (like how she never leaves me alone and is always in my lap!) This creature number 2 was not nearly as demanding as number 1 - or not until the last 2 years or so. Now the two seem to get along very well (most of the time) and apparently are "so good" when they're out with anyone else. Frankly, that's the highest praise you can give a parent - if my kids are going to misbehave, I'd much rather they do it with me!
Anyway, back to the 7 year old. She has now taken on the responsibility of looking after the 4 year old. I don't mean that in any "child labour laws" way, just that if we are out and creature 2 suggests she has to go to the bathroom, number 1 immediately suggests she'll take her. Sure! I do go and check on them after a few minutes if they seem to be dawdling, but usually they go and come back, and sometimes they've even washed their hands!
Creature one also takes direction very well. She listens when I tell her the "rules" of a new place or scenario (and promptly tells when creature two is not following those rules), looks after her sister when they need to cross the road (or are in a parking lot), and has really learned to help re-direct a game when bossy little sis is mad about the way they're playing.
I'm not saying that my little miss #2 doesn't listen to rules and such, she's just very young yet and doesn't necessarily understand the importance of having these rules.
Every day I'm feeling more confident in creature one's level of responsibility. She can can be bull-headed and easily distracted, and when she digs in her heels, watch out! But overall I'm glad she's the first born. I'm sure my second born will be more responsible and independent over the coming years, but she's also more easily scared, and more emotional than my first. I think that's where creature two's clingyness stems from - she's a lover, but can also be a fighter.
Raising kids is such a roller coaster. Every day is different, and sometimes it's hard to enjoy every minute of it. I don't think I will ever lose my "mom anxiety" but I'm happy to report it does lessen as the years go by. My next hefty mom anxiety time will be with dating and driving and all those other teenage year joys.
~Jess
My first baby is now 7 years old. We have had tons of struggles with her in the intervening years, but I am now starting to see her blossoming into her own person with her own personality. Not to say she hasn't had personality since she's been born (because she definitely has!) but she has begun to display more independent and responsible traits.
Since my first baby we did create and birth out a second creature, but she's only 4 and is still a bit stuck on her toddler traits (like how she never leaves me alone and is always in my lap!) This creature number 2 was not nearly as demanding as number 1 - or not until the last 2 years or so. Now the two seem to get along very well (most of the time) and apparently are "so good" when they're out with anyone else. Frankly, that's the highest praise you can give a parent - if my kids are going to misbehave, I'd much rather they do it with me!
Anyway, back to the 7 year old. She has now taken on the responsibility of looking after the 4 year old. I don't mean that in any "child labour laws" way, just that if we are out and creature 2 suggests she has to go to the bathroom, number 1 immediately suggests she'll take her. Sure! I do go and check on them after a few minutes if they seem to be dawdling, but usually they go and come back, and sometimes they've even washed their hands!
Creature one also takes direction very well. She listens when I tell her the "rules" of a new place or scenario (and promptly tells when creature two is not following those rules), looks after her sister when they need to cross the road (or are in a parking lot), and has really learned to help re-direct a game when bossy little sis is mad about the way they're playing.
I'm not saying that my little miss #2 doesn't listen to rules and such, she's just very young yet and doesn't necessarily understand the importance of having these rules.
Every day I'm feeling more confident in creature one's level of responsibility. She can can be bull-headed and easily distracted, and when she digs in her heels, watch out! But overall I'm glad she's the first born. I'm sure my second born will be more responsible and independent over the coming years, but she's also more easily scared, and more emotional than my first. I think that's where creature two's clingyness stems from - she's a lover, but can also be a fighter.
Raising kids is such a roller coaster. Every day is different, and sometimes it's hard to enjoy every minute of it. I don't think I will ever lose my "mom anxiety" but I'm happy to report it does lessen as the years go by. My next hefty mom anxiety time will be with dating and driving and all those other teenage year joys.
~Jess
Wednesday, 3 February 2016
Primary Parenting or How Jobs Fall In Our House
My husband thinks, in our household, there's no such thing as a "primary parent." I see what he's thinking but I'm convinced that's a natural thing, and no matter how you try there is always a primary parent. I do think that the primary parent can change at any point - daily, seasonally, or even from morning to evening.
Of course I consider myself the "primary parent" most of the time. Honestly this is just because I am at home the most. I feel that parenting also encompasses household tasks. We have pretty defined "pink" and "blue" jobs (please don't be offended, someone explained them to me this way I thought it was so fitting, if a little stereotypical) in our home.
My "pink" jobs are the laundry, the tidying up (after the kids mostly), and more than half of the meal prep. His "blue" jobs are putting out the garbage, looking after the cars and the house, and mowing the lawn. We both can, and do, perform all these tasks, but typically this is how they fall.
In my opinion my jobs are a bit more kid-centric while his are less so. Doesn't make me a better parent then him - just makes me the one the kids ask for: food items, clothing locating, and any other "where is my..." question. I'm happy to do those jobs, and sometimes be able to answer those questions.
His jobs allow the kids to "help" him - clean up the yard, tidy the basement (tools and stuff), and carry the recycling bins. Still equally able to spend time with the kids doing these things, but less likely the kids will ask to take out the garbage, you know?
Dad, though, is also the one who takes them "shopping" the most. I don't go "shopping" unless I have to. Groceries are enough for me. Hubby likes going out and happily lets the girls follow him through Canadian Tire or Home Depot looking at whatever they want. And apparently he enjoys it and doesn't feel like it's "work" trying to keep track of the kids in a big store when they just stop without saying anything, or wander down aisles when you're busily trying to find either what you're looking for, or someone to help you find what you're looking for. That's not fun for me. The kids like to hide, and not listen to me. This does not help me get my jobs done quickly and efficiently.
And in my home, when it comes to bedtimes I'm still the first choice. That helps me feel like I'm the primary parent. Occasionally Rose will ask for Daddy to put her to bed, and I love that! But mostly the story reading is all me. I'm secretly sad when I don't get to put them to bed. But also elated that someone else (Dad or babysitter) can get the job done well in my absence.
I mostly like feeling like the primary parent, but sometimes I just need to hand over the reigns, you know? I don't want to do it all (and I don't.) When the kids are constantly asking for "MOM!" I almost lose it. This is why I started taking ballet class once a week - gives me a break from bedtimes and other "primary parent" duties, and allows hubby a different connection with the girls.
How do the jobs fall in your house? Do you feel you suffer from "primary parent" syndrome in your house as well? I'm always interested to hear other's stories, so leave me a comment!
~Jess
Of course I consider myself the "primary parent" most of the time. Honestly this is just because I am at home the most. I feel that parenting also encompasses household tasks. We have pretty defined "pink" and "blue" jobs (please don't be offended, someone explained them to me this way I thought it was so fitting, if a little stereotypical) in our home.
My "pink" jobs are the laundry, the tidying up (after the kids mostly), and more than half of the meal prep. His "blue" jobs are putting out the garbage, looking after the cars and the house, and mowing the lawn. We both can, and do, perform all these tasks, but typically this is how they fall.
In my opinion my jobs are a bit more kid-centric while his are less so. Doesn't make me a better parent then him - just makes me the one the kids ask for: food items, clothing locating, and any other "where is my..." question. I'm happy to do those jobs, and sometimes be able to answer those questions.
His jobs allow the kids to "help" him - clean up the yard, tidy the basement (tools and stuff), and carry the recycling bins. Still equally able to spend time with the kids doing these things, but less likely the kids will ask to take out the garbage, you know?
Dad, though, is also the one who takes them "shopping" the most. I don't go "shopping" unless I have to. Groceries are enough for me. Hubby likes going out and happily lets the girls follow him through Canadian Tire or Home Depot looking at whatever they want. And apparently he enjoys it and doesn't feel like it's "work" trying to keep track of the kids in a big store when they just stop without saying anything, or wander down aisles when you're busily trying to find either what you're looking for, or someone to help you find what you're looking for. That's not fun for me. The kids like to hide, and not listen to me. This does not help me get my jobs done quickly and efficiently.
And in my home, when it comes to bedtimes I'm still the first choice. That helps me feel like I'm the primary parent. Occasionally Rose will ask for Daddy to put her to bed, and I love that! But mostly the story reading is all me. I'm secretly sad when I don't get to put them to bed. But also elated that someone else (Dad or babysitter) can get the job done well in my absence.
I mostly like feeling like the primary parent, but sometimes I just need to hand over the reigns, you know? I don't want to do it all (and I don't.) When the kids are constantly asking for "MOM!" I almost lose it. This is why I started taking ballet class once a week - gives me a break from bedtimes and other "primary parent" duties, and allows hubby a different connection with the girls.
How do the jobs fall in your house? Do you feel you suffer from "primary parent" syndrome in your house as well? I'm always interested to hear other's stories, so leave me a comment!
~Jess
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