Snow Day or My Day As A Stay Home Parent

This winter was slow getting started, but February seems to be making up for it.  We've had two snow days in two weeks.  One of those days I was lucky enough to get to be home with the girls all day.

Let's be frank here - I love going to work and being away from the kids.  I'm almost never home alone with them for 8+ hours (unless you count overnight, which doesn't actually count.)  Now that they're older, and play together pretty well, it's not quite the stress-zone it used to be when they were completely dependant on constant adult supervision and interaction.

I'm happy to say my "mom anxiety" has actually settled down a bit.  I feel as though the girls are learning how to be independent, and slightly more responsible (post about that here), and sometimes they even can get their own food - as long as it's cereal or granola bars.

I took some pictures during our "snow day" so I could share with you all the joys of being home with the kids all day long.  I chose to empty the dishwasher in the morning and when I returned to the living room they had emptied the toy box completely, and every stuffy they own (except for the 100 they each have in their rooms) was on the floor.

People wonder why I don't sit down and watch a movie with the girls.  This was a perfect example.  They put on a movie (after cleaning up 10,000 stuffies) and sat and watched it until it was about 3/4 of the way through.  Then they turned it off and went upstairs to play.  Like what?  Who watches 3/4 of a movie?  I mean it's not like they hadn't seen it before (it was Toy Story 2), but man.  Luckily I was trying to sit and read so it didn't really impact my life much.  And they did return to it maybe an hour later and watch the end.  I'm still amazed how quickly kids can be distracted, or get bored, by what they're doing.  Odd ducks, kids.

Lunch was fine - random stuff, you know.  Carrot sticks, cheese and crackers, bagels and cream cheese, eat what you feel like and then go play.

Afternoon play included craft time.  Which, for my kids, is just another excuse to make a huge mess.  And this was the time I decided to take a few minutes outside to check the build up of snow/ice/water that was falling from the sky.  I got soaked, they created chaos.  But then they cleaned up - without a fight.  I did hope Rose would practice her cutting skills - so she came upstairs while I was showering (after getting soaked outside) to tell me she made one cut in one piece of paper!  That's great Rose, but that won't improve your scissor skills.  Emma is the great crafter in our household.  Rose would rather just look at everything, make a huge mess, and then go find something else to do.  In this case it was have a freezie.

While I was in the shower (for 10 minutes, at the most) Rose came upstairs to talk to me.  "Look at what I have Mommy!" she says.  How does she know I'm right in the middle of washing my hair, with shampoo about to run into my eyes?  And she's not the most patient.  "LOOK MOM!"  So I peek out around the shower curtain.  Now I have to point out that I wear glasses.  I can barely see clearly past the end of my nose.  So I look out, see that a small figure is standing there holding something.  I say "Cool!  What'cha got there?" and she tells me "Emma got me a thing from the freezer!"  Huh?  "Oh, have you got a freezie?" I ask.  "No, there was none, so Emma said 'You can have a frozen yogurt tube, or you can have nothing.'"  That sounds like Emma.  So she was eating a frozen yogurt tube.  I have never had success getting her to try one.  She gobbled it down like it was candy (but not before managing to dribble some onto the couch - where they are not supposed to sit with food...)  Sisters, eh?

After crafts they asked for a 3D movie.  My first thought was that I didn't know what I needed to do to play a 3D movie.  We have the tv and the blu-ray player for it, but I was worried I'd need to actually do something.  Well worry not, the dohickeys all work together and it automatically works in 3D.  Yay!  The hardest part was finding where the 3D glasses were...

Of course the movie they picked for afternoon viewing was Toy Story 3.  This is my 'guaranteed to cry like crazy at the end' movie.  So didn't they wait until almost the end to ask me to sit with them and watch.  And since I spent a decent part of the day reading my book (in the same room as them but not really engaged) I had to do it.  And so I watched, and the tears came, and it was sweet like it always is.  Then I had to make dinner.

Despite the crazy weather Emma's dance class was still on.  Hubby got home at a good time, we ate dinner and off they went to dance class.  I was actually quite impressed with our day.  Almost all messes were cleaned up without much fuss, and no major meltdowns occurred.  I got some reading done, and a book review created.  Makes me feel like I could do this full-time parenting thing, once in a while.  The only thing the day was missing was a nap - for me!

Kids And Responsibility - We Must Have Done Something Right

I never imagined, in my wildest dreams, how "good" my kids would turn out to be.  In the beginning I (almost) thought we had made a mistake choosing to birth out our first tiny creature that consumed every minute of our existence for the first 6 months of her life.  The non-stop crying and nursing (and sleepless nights, and mom tears) I now see were totally worth it.

My first baby is now 7 years old.  We have had tons of struggles with her in the intervening years, but I am now starting to see her blossoming into her own person with her own personality.  Not to say she hasn't had personality since she's been born (because she definitely has!) but she has begun to display more independent and responsible traits.

Since my first baby we did create and birth out a second creature, but she's only 4 and is still a bit stuck on her toddler traits (like how she never leaves me alone and is always in my lap!)  This creature number 2 was not nearly as demanding as number 1 - or not until the last 2 years or so.  Now the two seem to get along very well (most of the time) and apparently are "so good" when they're out with anyone else.  Frankly, that's the highest praise you can give a parent - if my kids are going to misbehave, I'd much rather they do it with me!

Anyway, back to the 7 year old.  She has now taken on the responsibility of looking after the 4 year old.  I don't mean that in any "child labour laws" way, just that if we are out and creature 2 suggests she has to go to the bathroom, number 1 immediately suggests she'll take her.  Sure!  I do go and check on them after a few minutes if they seem to be dawdling, but usually they go and come back, and sometimes they've even washed their hands!

Creature one also takes direction very well.  She listens when I tell her the "rules" of a new place or scenario (and promptly tells when creature two is not following those rules), looks after her sister when they need to cross the road (or are in a parking lot), and has really learned to help re-direct a game when bossy little sis is mad about the way they're playing.

I'm not saying that my little miss #2 doesn't listen to rules and such, she's just very young yet and doesn't necessarily understand the importance of having these rules.

Every day I'm feeling more confident in creature one's level of responsibility.  She can can be bull-headed and easily distracted, and when she digs in her heels, watch out!  But overall I'm glad she's the first born.  I'm sure my second born will be more responsible and independent over the coming years, but she's also more easily scared, and more emotional than my first.  I think that's where creature two's clingyness stems from - she's a lover, but can also be a fighter.

Raising kids is such a roller coaster.  Every day is different, and sometimes it's hard to enjoy every minute of it.  I don't think I will ever lose my "mom anxiety" but I'm happy to report it does lessen as the years go by.  My next hefty mom anxiety time will be with dating and driving and all those other teenage year joys.

~Jess

7 Things I Forget When September Rolls Around Again

Back to school is always a busy time.  It was busier than normal for me this year because little Rose started JK this year.  She seems to be enjoying it so far.  No fights with either of them in the mornings (yet - I'm sure they'll happen somewhere along the way.)

This September I've managed to forget everything we were doing in June, as it pertained to school.  Here are a few of things I forgot about during the carefree days of summer this year:

1. The bus comes early.  And I mean really early.  We have to leave the house by 7:40 so we aren't late.  So I have to get the kids up at 6:30.  That is also early.
2. My kids don't really eat lunch.  During the lazy days of summer they often just graze, and we don't have to prepare a "main course" style lunch.  At school I've had notes sent home in the past that suggested Emma didn't have a "lunch" when I packed many different snack options in the hope she'd actually eat something.  So far this year lunch has gone alright. *fingers crossed*
3. Library days (and library books).  Emma managed to lose track of her first book she brought home from the school library this year.  Luckily we located it, but where do I keep these books that are "theirs" but not "ours" without losing them in the mountains of books we have at home?
4. How tired kids can be after being at school all day.  I'm pretty sure Rose could go to bed at 6 most nights now.  Granted, she's still adjusting to the whole school idea, and a 6pm bedtime would be a 5am wake-up so we won't go there, but she's so tired!
5. How small my big kids are.  Rose in a backpack looks so tiny!  And once you put a full lunch pail, her communication book and a water bottle in there she can barely walk in it.  But also it's super cute.
6. Germs!  We are two weeks into school and we've already had one bout of night-time vomiting, and right now both girls are working on colds.  Now my kids go to daycare during the summer months full time, so I feel like we should be somewhat immune to the early colds, but we're not.  Also I work in a pharmacy so I must bring home all sorts of crazy bugs, but still September is the start of everyone rotating through colds all fall and winter.

What school- or routine-related things trip you up in September?  I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who lets things slide until 2 days before school starts, am I?  I am actually surprised how smoothly things have been going so far this year. *touch wood*  Now we're amping back up into ballet lessons, and this modelling stuff has events right now so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed in all of the extra-curriculars as well.  I know it will all become routine before long, it's just a matter of getting settled into it, right??

It's Nice To Be Wanted, Right? RIGHT??

So my kids love me.  Of this I have no doubt.  None.  And they love my husband as well.  Absolutely.  But somehow I am needed to do everything, all the time.

Why?  I have no idea.  Maybe it's the two X chromosomes.  Maybe it was the acting of birthing out these children.  Maybe it's just my dumb luck.  But when the girls need help with something (anything) it's "MOM!  I need you!"

Hair brushing, bath washing, teeth brushing, clothes choosing (or just helping to put on), food getting, drink filling, swing pushing, walk taking, driving to events, and especially bedtime facilitating - all seem to need Mom.  Dad will do if Mom is not around (or is busy, or put her foot down) but he is never really the first choice.

Sometimes I think the kids are jealous of my book, computer, quiet time, dishes doing, laundry folding (and putting away), or whatever else I'm trying to do at any point during the day.  But that can't be it since they let Dad be on his computer, cut the lawn, cook on the BBQ, or whatever he's trying to do at any point in his day.

Can anyone explain this?  I'm open to any theories.  If I am not at home I hear they rarely ask about me, or refuse to do things since I'm not there.  A big change from a year or two (or maybe three or four) ago when I was needed even when I was not at home (thank goodness for this change!)  But if I'm home and I dare to suggest that Dad could put whomever to bed there is usually a sizeable resistance.  Again I'll say it's much better now, but they still want me.  Most of the time.

People keep telling me I'll miss it when the girls are older and they don't need me.  Right now I don't believe that.  I know they'll grow out of bedtime stories, and needing help with their clothes, and all that stuff; but at this point I'm kind of excited for the day I don't have to drag them out of bed, ask them 100 times what they'd like for breakfast, and then get it for them, then rush them through eating and getting dressed so we can get out of the house on time.

Life with little kids is always an interesting adventure.  No two days are the same, and no one will eat the same food twice.  But there is one constant - needing Mom.  I love that they need me.  I enjoy the mom-kid time.  But sometimes it's just too much.  I'm so glad I have a loving husband along on this journey who's ready and able to wrangle the kids when I've really just had too much.

Ages and Stages - My Girls Keep Growing!

Last night after work I took the girls outside.  We grabbed a blanket and my Yoga book and we had a stretching session.  I'm amazed at the flexibility of my daughters.  I was also amazed that Rose was interested in trying this out.  Of course we had to eat Cheerios while we were yoga-ing, but they both took an interest and did some of the moves along with me.

My girls are quickly leaving the really little kid stuff behind.  They will happily tell me some shows are too "baby" for them (Emma more than Rose) and they both understand the philosophy of passing on your too small clothes, so they can graduate into more new (to them) clothes.  I don't really know when I noticed this stuff starting to happen, but it's in full flow now.

My favourite thing that is happening now is their ability to reason.  There are many less "tantrums" as they've started flexing their reasoning muscles.  We can (usually) calmly discuss sharing and taking turns, as well as if we watch movie A now we can watch movie B next time.  This doesn't always end well, but we're getting there.

Along with reasoning is the knowledge that 'it is time to sleep when I'm tired.'  Emma took a very long time to learn this skill.  Rose is further along at a younger age, and actually goes and lays down for a nap if she's tired in the afternoon.  We've gotten away from naps with her, but sometimes she'll just take one and not even tell anyone!

Last week my parents had the girls for 4 days at their place.  Usually getting them there entails tears and fits and all that (even though they always have a good time), but not this time.  Genuine excitement and full knowledge they were going to be there for a few days in a row.  My mom told me that before they were brought back home they both - separately - went to her and told her they would miss her and asked for snuggles.  How sweet, right?  Then they were super affectionate with me when they got back, which I totally missed while they were away.

The real excitement for me was also last night.  Emma watched her Murdoch Mysteries while I read Rose a story upstairs.  When it ended she went up to brush her teeth and I looked for another Murdoch.  The only one I found was the one she had just watched, so I put on Jeopardy! until she returned and gave me input on what she wanted to watch.  Well guess what?  She wanted to watch Jeopardy with me!!  I don't think I've really watched it since Emma was born.  And I could see her looking at (reading?) the words.  She thought it was great!  Let's hope she keeps her interest in it, so I can test my knowledge on any and all things another night soon.

Stay tuned for more random thoughts from me.  Toodles!