Moms and Migraines

This morning I woke up feeling like someone was scooping out my frontal lobe with an ice cream scoop. Not a nice image - and not really a nice feeling either. Despite the pain, I chose to get up and start my morning. Looking back, I think maybe that was a mistake.

I put my coffee on, eldest daughter came downstairs without prodding from me - always a bonus - and I got her started on breakfast. I also pulled out the fruit I thought younger daughter would eat, and I had a few pieces. I also had a big glass of water - sometimes the headaches are a dehydration symptom. I don't think the food was such a good idea either.

At this point every movement was sending shooting pains from my forehead through my skull and out the back of my head. I chose to go back upstairs and poke younger daughter. Luckily she was mostly awake, so I went and laid down. I knew that what little food I ate was not going to stay where I put it, but I also knew it wasn't imminently going to dislodge itself. Oh, and I had taken some ibuprofen as well.

Little miss number two came into my room on her way downstairs, and I suggested she grab a muffin when she gets down there. I was pretty sure getting back up was going to be a bad idea. I'm lucky I have a spouse who can take over morning duties on those (thankfully very few) days where I just can't do it.

The rest of the morning is a bit of a blur. I did have to throw up in the garbage can when hubby was in the bathroom and I was in the kitchen helping kiddos get organized to go out the door. I had actually gotten up to look for my Tryptans (migraine pills). So I think the ibuprofens went out that way, but I did feel better for a bit and so I took the migraine pill and then went back to bed after the kids went off to the bus.

After such a fun experience I came up with a few words of wisdom for other moms (or dads!) who also find themselves occasionally afflicted with such lovely things as migraines:

• Ask for help! - Get your spouse (if applicable) to do more.  Or call your parents/friends/anyone you know who'd help you out.  The more you try to do, the worse you can feel.  It's okay to ask for help.
• Take drugs! - If you have a prescription for your migraines, take it!  My parents and hubby are good at reminding me to do this.  Or take some ibuprofen or acetaminophen.  And take it with lots of water - see my dehydration comment above.
• Caffeine can help - if you're addicted to your morning coffee or tea (or other beverage), try to have some.  I made my coffee this morning but I didn't drink it until 2 hours later, minutes after the pot turned off it's burner.
• Go back to bed - after you take something to help move your headache along, try for some more rest.  It worked for me this morning, but it doesn't always work.
• Try to do very little, even it you're feeling better - I fall into this trap all the time.  I stay home from work with a brutal headache but then I lay in bed and think about all the things I could be doing if only I felt a little better.  Those things can wait.  You can't look after everything and everyone else if you don't look after yourself!
• Get some fresh air - Say you're feeling a bit better (like the ice pick has been removed and every step is not causing excruciating stabs through your brain).  Take a short walk outside.  If it's sunny and the light is hurting your eyes, you're likely not "better" enough to leave the house yet, but if you think you can handle it, stroll around the block.  This perked me up today too, although that's also because it was 10 degrees outside!

Keep in mind these are all suggestions and I am not a doctor - I just speak from experience.  If you suffer the same affliction and have other tips, please share with me in the comments!

By 2pm the headache was gone, and so was the foggy brain feeling.  I could have gone to work for a few hours, by at this point in the day it's really not worth it.  Lets hope this fun doesn't occur again tomorrow...

~Jess

When Parents Get Sick - An Introspective

Having sick kids is tough.  Being a sick parent can be much tougher.  (Is tougher a word?  I'm not sold on it.)

Our house had about 4 days of sick daughters.  Fever, lethargy, vomit, the whole bit.  Then they got better!  Yay!  The plague has moved on!  As the primary parent (and all I mean by that is the one who is routinely at home more often and therefore able to do more household chores and all that) I took it upon myself to wash all the sheets, all the barf buckets and whatever else I thought might keep us from re-developing this particular plague.

Fast-forward a few days to my busy Christmas Party weekend.  Hubby's party and my work party routinely fall on the same weekend - luckily we do Sundays and they do Saturdays.  Usually it works out pretty well.

This year, not so much.  We had lunch on Saturday with the family after the newest cousin's baptism but I didn't feel my sandwiches sitting quite right.  Regardless I went ahead and ate, and then got ready later in the day and hubby and I went out to his party.

It was a good time - roast beef buffet, wine, and good company.  Until my dinner and drinks did not like their accommodations.  It was so bad I threw up twice at the venue.  Went home, threw up a few more times and then slept.

Sunday morning I had to get up with the girls (at 6:30, of course.)  This is all routine with us - I thought I was alright after a night's sleep.  I stayed up for half an hour and that was all I could manage.  I ate 2 tiny pieces of fruit and I had to go lay down.  That was pretty much the last time I saw the girls until Monday morning, in those precious few moments before school.

I couldn't get myself together well enough to do anything that Sunday.  Every time I tried to do anything, or if I managed to eat a few crumbs of something, I had to go lay down.  For at least an hour at a stretch.  I was so glad the girls were out for the day.  I even had to skip out on my work Christmas party.  That really bummed me out.

Hubby collected the girls from their Nanny day while I was upstairs sleeping off another smidgen of food I thought I should eat.  I didn't see them, they didn't ask to see me, and when I awoke he had just finished getting them down so I didn't dare peek at them yet.  Cue the mom guilt!

Overall I missed 3 nights in a row with my children and, rather than it feeling like an escape, it was a huge guilt burden for me.  Of course the kids have no idea - I tried to tell them I was sorry for not being there for 3 bedtimes and they just looked at me like I was weird for apologizing.  That didn't stop me from having a tear or two in my sentimental mom moment the girls didn't know I was having.

Being sick sucks - did I say that already?  Luckily when I felt better I saw that hubby and the girls did a good job of looking after each other.  Sure, there were dishes in the sink, and the laundry wasn't magically done or anything like that, but overall the house was still standing and all the advents hadn't been opened, and even Elf on the Shelf had managed to find a new resting place each day.

What happens in your house when one or (god forbid!) both parents are under the weather?  Do routines have to change?  Do the kids leave you alone to rest up?  Share your experiences in the comments below!

It's Nice To Be Wanted, Right? RIGHT??

So my kids love me.  Of this I have no doubt.  None.  And they love my husband as well.  Absolutely.  But somehow I am needed to do everything, all the time.

Why?  I have no idea.  Maybe it's the two X chromosomes.  Maybe it was the acting of birthing out these children.  Maybe it's just my dumb luck.  But when the girls need help with something (anything) it's "MOM!  I need you!"

Hair brushing, bath washing, teeth brushing, clothes choosing (or just helping to put on), food getting, drink filling, swing pushing, walk taking, driving to events, and especially bedtime facilitating - all seem to need Mom.  Dad will do if Mom is not around (or is busy, or put her foot down) but he is never really the first choice.

Sometimes I think the kids are jealous of my book, computer, quiet time, dishes doing, laundry folding (and putting away), or whatever else I'm trying to do at any point during the day.  But that can't be it since they let Dad be on his computer, cut the lawn, cook on the BBQ, or whatever he's trying to do at any point in his day.

Can anyone explain this?  I'm open to any theories.  If I am not at home I hear they rarely ask about me, or refuse to do things since I'm not there.  A big change from a year or two (or maybe three or four) ago when I was needed even when I was not at home (thank goodness for this change!)  But if I'm home and I dare to suggest that Dad could put whomever to bed there is usually a sizeable resistance.  Again I'll say it's much better now, but they still want me.  Most of the time.

People keep telling me I'll miss it when the girls are older and they don't need me.  Right now I don't believe that.  I know they'll grow out of bedtime stories, and needing help with their clothes, and all that stuff; but at this point I'm kind of excited for the day I don't have to drag them out of bed, ask them 100 times what they'd like for breakfast, and then get it for them, then rush them through eating and getting dressed so we can get out of the house on time.

Life with little kids is always an interesting adventure.  No two days are the same, and no one will eat the same food twice.  But there is one constant - needing Mom.  I love that they need me.  I enjoy the mom-kid time.  But sometimes it's just too much.  I'm so glad I have a loving husband along on this journey who's ready and able to wrangle the kids when I've really just had too much.

Don't Sick Kids Break Your Heart?

Eldest daughter was sick on Canada Day.  Bummer, eh?  Weird thing - she was sick on Canada Day last year too.  That's not a trend I'd like to continue.

Her day started out ok, although she didn't eat much breakfast.  That's weird because she'll eat half her day's calories at breakfast most mornings.  By lunch time she was laying around - like too exhausted to keep her head up.  And she was flushed, all not a good sign.

I gave her some acetaminophen since she told me her throat hurt.  I think modern medicine is fabulous.  She perked back up, her fever settled a bit and we managed to move through some more of the day.

As you may know, we were having family over and there was fence building going on for our Canada Day celebrations.  We ladies took the kids downtown to an Art Festival/Sale which they were very keen to go to, but tired of in about 20 minutes.  Especially Eldest who was starting to flag again by this time.  I love wandering through these things, and we saw some people we knew - also fun.  But we quickened our pace as I was afraid we may be moving toward Eldest being "actually" sick.

Both kids fell asleep in the car on the way home.  Then they both went to bed for naps for the rest of the afternoon.  There is something so peaceful about sleeping children - especially when you know they aren't feeling well.  You can just picture their little cells all at war inside their little bodies while they sleep.  But after 2 hours of nap I knew they needed to get up.  It was after 5pm by this time.

Younger daughter got up with just a bit of protest - Eldest needed to be removed from our bed and carried downstairs.  She was not feeling well at all.  I gave her more acetaminophen but even that didn't perk her up.  Then I suggested a bath.  Well, after 5 minutes in the tub she yells out at me (because her ears were under water), "I guess all I needed was a bath!  I feel better!!"  So she relaxed in there for 20 minutes and then came back downstairs all pepped back up.

It's so nice to see them perk up after all the lethargy of being sick.  Both the girls stayed up well past their bedtimes, but went to bed alright when I finally got them there.  And they slept in somewhat the next morning.

Eldest was not in a good way the following morning again.  She stayed home with Dad while I had to go to work.  I took Youngest to Day Care then returned to get my stuff in order to go to work.  Eldest was very sad I could not stay home with her.  I know most of it was the fever talking, but it broke my heart when she let loose with the tears.

However, when I returned home in the evening (after a few messages back and forth with Dad during the day) I found Eldest sitting at the end of the driveway just waiting for me to get home.  She seemed to be doing pretty good, and told me she wasn't sick at all!  But she also needed a giant hug because she hadn't seen me all day.  Boy kids sometimes can be super cute!

There's nothing quite like the Mom Guilt of leaving a kid sick at home, even though you know full well whomever is there (Dad, Grandma, Auntie) will take extra special care of them while you can't be there.  Looks like I had nothing to worry about in this case.  After some morning quiet time (tv and couch resting) she was fine.  They went out to do some stuff, then I guess she rested a bit more in the afternoon but then was up and peppy and we haven't looked back since.

In my view, it was a long 2 days, but now things are on the up and up.  I'd better get Eldest to bed before much longer.  She should still have the chance to get some extra rest if she needs it.  And I'm feeling like I could use some extra rest myself!

Toodles!