Rainy Easter "Monday"

Today is "Easter Monday."  Not a holiday, not a "real" Easter related day.  Just a day where there's no school but there is work - for a lot people at least.  For us there's no daycare either (she takes it as a day for herself, to which I say "good for you!") so I took the day off.

And guess what?  It's raining.  Boo.  Yesterday was almost 20 degrees and sunny.  We had a fabulous time being at hubby's sisters eating and sitting around outside.  The girls got bubble guns and had a blast with them.  It was a great day.

Today I thought maybe we could get the bikes out.  Or at least the kids could go outside to play.  Looks like maybe that's not going to happen after all.  We do have plans to go visit some school friends this afternoon, but that's 5 hours from now.  That's a lot of time to fill.

On a different note, I'm actually happy to see the rain.  Hopefully it will wash away any remnants of snow and help my tulips grow.  They've been peeking through the soil for a week or more but it's just not their time yet.  I'm dying to get out into the gardens - it's only March though, not time yet!

Maybe I can get the girls to help me tidy away the Easter stuff (we have about 25 bunnies that only come out for Easter play) and return our living space to a room with, well, space.  But I think that will involve bribes with their own Easter treats.

What do you do with your school-aged kids when you're stuck inside on a rainy day?  My girls are 4 (almost 5 if you ask her) and 7.  They get tired of colouring but we did get some painting crafts from aunties yesterday - maybe we'll give that a try.

For now I need to find myself some breakfast and deal with some laundry so they're going to get tv time until I'm ready to find them an activity.  Enjoy your day readers!

~Jess

How Kids Change Your Sleep Habits

When I was young I could sleep through anything.  I never heard my sister calling out or talking in her sleep (unless I wasn't asleep yet.)  Once we were camping and there was a thunderstorm so intense it shook the ground - everyone else woke up (we were sleeping in a tent) and I missed the whole thing,  That made me mad because I love thunderstorms - I did even when I was a kid!

Now I can't sleep through any tiny sound my children make.  I definitely think it's a biological parent thing.  I call it "Mom sleep" although I'm sure Dads suffer from this as well.  Although definitely not in my household...

I can still sleep through storms or other disturbances in the night, but I cannot sleep though noises my offspring make in the nighttime.  Especially when they are sick, as was the case this week.  I'm sure my "mom anxiety" is partly to blame for this lovely sleep disturbance.


Any noise (a cough, an excessive rustle of bedclothes, a door opening) is cause for me to be instantly wide awake.  Both my girls used to have no compunction about throwing up in bed, all over themselves and all the bedding, and even on their toys. So gross!

My eldest still doesn't wake up fully before the need to vomit overcomes her - I'm sure this is the cause of my "Mom sleep" from early on.  She used to cry until she threw up as a very small toddler - back in the controlled "cry it out" and "sleep training" days.  Although now that I think of it I co-slept with my first child, and I'm sure for the first year of her life I slept in a continual state of "Mom sleep" where I would close my eyes but never fall into a good sleep.  I was always so exhausted back then!

When my second child was born she was a pro sleeper.  No co-sleeping required.  As a result I had to move her out of my room (she was in a bassinett) very early on.  Her asleep rustling disturbed my sleep so much that I would lay awake listening to her breathing and moving slightly, waiting for her to wake up to nurse.  She slept so much longer in a stretch right from birth than my first did in her entire first 4 months of life.  Once I moved her to "her" room my sleep quality increased dramatically!

Between bouts of sick children I am revelling in my sleep.  There are no more diapers, training pants, or nighttime accidents.  There is rarely a need to get up in the night.  The girls will even get up and pee and then go back to bed without any outside assistance.  I'm loving it!

But what that really means is I'm way out of practice when I do have to get up in the night - especially multiple times, or for 3 or 4 nights in a row.  I actually thought I would fall asleep in the middle of my workday this week because my girls were sick and I was only getting about 4 hours of "real" sleep while everyone was quiet in the night.

Do you suffer from "Mom sleep"? (even if you're a dad!)  How do you deal with sick kids in the night?  Any tricks to train older kids to the cues of their body (so they don't barf everywhere!)?  Please share with me in the comments!!

Head Lice - One Of Many Parental Nightmares

Every time I get an email from the school I have to read it right away.  I have anxiety about the lovely principal emails, and not for any actual school-related reasons.

Whenever an update appears in my inbox I immediately tune out everything around me until I can scan the email for those dreaded words: Head Lice

We've been lucky so far this year.  I've seen a notice twice that there was a "suspected case" but there was never any follow-up or school head checks.  Not like in years past.

The girls have had their fair share of head lice so far in their little lives.  The first time we experienced it I was pregnant with Rose, and Emma was probably barely 3 years old.  I had a little breakdown because I didn't think I could deal with all the things expected of a household who finds head lice.

I didn't want to use the horrible chemical shampoo on my 2 or 3 year old.  I didn't think I could vacuum every surface in my house before she came into contact with the surfaces again.  I couldn't imagine corralling all her toys and either washing and drying them or putting them in a bag for 2 weeks (and/or in the freezer - who has room for that??)  And how do you get a 2 or 3 year old to sit still for an hour while you nit comb her entire head?  Especially with a pregnant belly in the way?  Ack!

Luckily I have great family nearby so I asked for help - mostly to do Emma's hair.  She was a star that first time.  She hated it, but she sat and let me pick and pick and pick.  The girls had thin hair as toddlers so mostly I could see what was going on in there.  I put on a movie and (no joke) she sat for a hour.  And this is after I picked through while she was in the bath getting the shampoo washed out as well.

We've been fortunate that neither girl has had a serious infestation.  I've managed to find it early every time (and there have been 3 large bottles of R&C amounts of times!) and alert daycare, which is where I think they came into contact with it - but not necessarily in the daycare house.  They used to go to all sorts of programs and other places (which is also why I loved my daycare!) where the girls came into contact with lots of kids.  Never have I been sure where the lice came from.  I find that very frustrating.

A few things we do now (that may or may not be helping!) routinely:

• Tea Tree Oil - I put it right into the kids shampoo bottles, and then add a few drops to the squirt I put into my hand as well right before shampooing.
• Check the hair all the time - like while we're watching tv and the kids are cuddly.  Catching it early is key!
• Wearing hair up as much as possible - this isn't often in my house because no one likes their hair brushed, and that's a vital component to being able to put it up!
• Using conditioner - I know there's conflicting evidence about conditioner use and head lice, but here Emma uses conditioner now (if she didn't there'd be no hair combing after!) and I often forget to do the tea tree oil, and she's not had lice in years.  May be a coincidence, may not.
• Teach the kids about head lice - how it's spread, how early detection is key, and how to stick their hats into the sleeves of their coats.  If they understand why we need to do this stuff, they are way more likely to comply.  At least that's my experience.  For a bit Rose was confused about "hair bugs" and "sugar bugs" (you know, the ones that cause cavities)  That made for interesting teeth brushing conversations because that was often when I would try to look through her hair as well.

Do you have any other tips or household things you do to help keep lice under control and out of your house?  What we're doing is working right now, but I read so much about the "super lice" that I'm still hyper aware that my kids spend a huge amount of time with kids I don't know!  Please share in the comments if you have any helpful ideas!

5 Things We've Learned About Night Terrors

My older daughter experienced Night Terrors.  We had no idea what was going on with her, and it was scary for us!  I thought I'd share a few things we learned while dealing with Emma and her Night Terrors.

1. They are distinctly different from Nightmares.  Emma would sit up quickly, exclaim loudly (sometimes screaming or crying) and be completely unresponsive.  She would then just lay down and be asleep.  It's really freaky, especially when it happens the first time!
2. Having a child be completely unresponsive, especially at night, is a heart-stopper for anxious moms! (or Dads or other caregivers.)  I don't know how many times I went in to see her knowing she was having these Terrors and I felt so completely helpless.  I would hug this stiff-as-a-board little girl while she cried or carried on, or sometimes just gestured wildly, and would just get absolutely no response.  Eventually she would relax and just be completely asleep.  It was mind-boggling for me.  I did finally manage to acknowledge there was nothing I could do, but while it didn't really make me feel better, it did allow me to go back to sleep myself after tucking her back in.
3. Being over-tired made them worse.  If Emma had a really drawn-out bedtime (which she always had, so I mean an extra-long 'drawn out for at least an hour' bedtime) there was a greater chance she'd wake with a Terror.  Same deal if the day was really busy or she didn't nap (which she never did for me anyway...)
4. They will almost always happen just after you fall asleep.  Most of the literature about Night Terrors suggests they happen 2 to 3 hours after the kid falls asleep.  For most households that's likely the time parents are getting into bed and falling asleep themselves.  Of course.
5. Kids grow out of them.  Our daughter didn't really start with them until after our second was born.  Correlation?  No idea.  Emma would have been approaching 3 and a half.  Most things I've read suggest kids between 4 and 12 can have them.  Emma is now 7 and hasn't had one in a long while (maybe even a year.)

Strangely Rose, our second born, has never had a Night Terror - although Murphy's Law dictates it will happen now that I've said that.  Rose has also always been a good sleeper who had no problem taking naps and going to bed when tired.  I suspect that could be part of the reason.  She also had no problem sleeping through Emma's carrying on back when she was afflicted with these Night Terrors.

We didn't actually have Emma checked out and diagnosed with Night Terrors, but Dr Google and Dr Mom agreed that that was definitely what was going on with her some nights.  She didn't remember any of the episodes she had, so much so that she would argue with me at the breakfast table that she never woke up once (which I guess she technically never did!)

If you think you're experiencing Night Terrors with your little one, take heart!  They will pass, and they aren't dangerous (unless your child is prone to falling out of bed, which did happen at least once here!)  They're scary, but more for the parents than the child.  Read up on them online like I did and maybe understanding what they are will give you some measure of reassurance.

Please share your experiences in the comments, and if there's any other helpful tidbits I didn't touch on, share those too!  But remember, nothing can replace the advice of a physician when diagnosing anything anywhere ever.

Labour Day Weekend Party - Fun and Frivolity - Then Back To School!

We had a party.  A family friendly, everyone we knew was invited, party on the Sunday of the long weekend.  We didn't inspire many more people to show up than the usual suspects, but we had a great weekend.  So much so that I hosted a party Part 2 on the holiday Monday.  I mean I had a ton of wine and foodstuffs left over (even after I sent people home with stuff!) so a second gathering seemed like a great idea!

I guess at peak population there were 25 people.  My boss came, as well as a prior co-worker (with her 2 little ones).  Hubby's business partner came with his little guy and a family friend with his 10 year old.  Of course our neighbour friend Abby was by - she even showed up early!  Plus some of my family members, and Hubby's mom.  Our daycare lady, and her daughter - our babysitter - arrived right on time.  It was a great afternoon.  Some people I thought may appear did not, but that didn't dampen our spirits any.  Food and drink was plentiful and I think most folks had a nice time.

I was genuinely surprised at my kids.  They sat at the kid's table with the other kids (both big and small) and really didn't mingle with the adults at all.  No lap sitting, no begging to be pushed on the swing (they all pushed each other), and not much fighting.  I forget how old my kids are now, and how easy it is for them to amuse themselves with each other!

So summer is over for the kiddos now.  It's back to school tomorrow, although technically summer doesn't end until the middle-end of September.  Hopefully the weekends stay nice and "free" so the kids can hang out and do their own things before the weather starts to turn cold.  I hope to have a few more nice weekends for barbeques and outdoor time.  It was nice to squeeze in the extra visits this afternoon with some friends.

I love hosting parties since it gives us a serious reason to tidy the house.  We have reorganized so much stuff even I feel like I have no idea where stuff is.  The kids rooms easily turn into disaster zones now that we've put all their stuff upstairs.  Life is always a work-in-progress, but when I can't find my stuff it definitely feels more like "work" than "progress"!

I hope everyone else's summer ended on a high note.  We've had a great season and I hope to continue it into the fall.  Once this humidity breaks I'll be one happy mama!  Fall weather is my favourite for sure.

Happy Back-To-School to everyone out there - enjoy the season!  Toodles!

It's Nice To Be Wanted, Right? RIGHT??

So my kids love me.  Of this I have no doubt.  None.  And they love my husband as well.  Absolutely.  But somehow I am needed to do everything, all the time.

Why?  I have no idea.  Maybe it's the two X chromosomes.  Maybe it was the acting of birthing out these children.  Maybe it's just my dumb luck.  But when the girls need help with something (anything) it's "MOM!  I need you!"

Hair brushing, bath washing, teeth brushing, clothes choosing (or just helping to put on), food getting, drink filling, swing pushing, walk taking, driving to events, and especially bedtime facilitating - all seem to need Mom.  Dad will do if Mom is not around (or is busy, or put her foot down) but he is never really the first choice.

Sometimes I think the kids are jealous of my book, computer, quiet time, dishes doing, laundry folding (and putting away), or whatever else I'm trying to do at any point during the day.  But that can't be it since they let Dad be on his computer, cut the lawn, cook on the BBQ, or whatever he's trying to do at any point in his day.

Can anyone explain this?  I'm open to any theories.  If I am not at home I hear they rarely ask about me, or refuse to do things since I'm not there.  A big change from a year or two (or maybe three or four) ago when I was needed even when I was not at home (thank goodness for this change!)  But if I'm home and I dare to suggest that Dad could put whomever to bed there is usually a sizeable resistance.  Again I'll say it's much better now, but they still want me.  Most of the time.

People keep telling me I'll miss it when the girls are older and they don't need me.  Right now I don't believe that.  I know they'll grow out of bedtime stories, and needing help with their clothes, and all that stuff; but at this point I'm kind of excited for the day I don't have to drag them out of bed, ask them 100 times what they'd like for breakfast, and then get it for them, then rush them through eating and getting dressed so we can get out of the house on time.

Life with little kids is always an interesting adventure.  No two days are the same, and no one will eat the same food twice.  But there is one constant - needing Mom.  I love that they need me.  I enjoy the mom-kid time.  But sometimes it's just too much.  I'm so glad I have a loving husband along on this journey who's ready and able to wrangle the kids when I've really just had too much.

Ages and Stages - My Girls Keep Growing!

Last night after work I took the girls outside.  We grabbed a blanket and my Yoga book and we had a stretching session.  I'm amazed at the flexibility of my daughters.  I was also amazed that Rose was interested in trying this out.  Of course we had to eat Cheerios while we were yoga-ing, but they both took an interest and did some of the moves along with me.

My girls are quickly leaving the really little kid stuff behind.  They will happily tell me some shows are too "baby" for them (Emma more than Rose) and they both understand the philosophy of passing on your too small clothes, so they can graduate into more new (to them) clothes.  I don't really know when I noticed this stuff starting to happen, but it's in full flow now.

My favourite thing that is happening now is their ability to reason.  There are many less "tantrums" as they've started flexing their reasoning muscles.  We can (usually) calmly discuss sharing and taking turns, as well as if we watch movie A now we can watch movie B next time.  This doesn't always end well, but we're getting there.

Along with reasoning is the knowledge that 'it is time to sleep when I'm tired.'  Emma took a very long time to learn this skill.  Rose is further along at a younger age, and actually goes and lays down for a nap if she's tired in the afternoon.  We've gotten away from naps with her, but sometimes she'll just take one and not even tell anyone!

Last week my parents had the girls for 4 days at their place.  Usually getting them there entails tears and fits and all that (even though they always have a good time), but not this time.  Genuine excitement and full knowledge they were going to be there for a few days in a row.  My mom told me that before they were brought back home they both - separately - went to her and told her they would miss her and asked for snuggles.  How sweet, right?  Then they were super affectionate with me when they got back, which I totally missed while they were away.

The real excitement for me was also last night.  Emma watched her Murdoch Mysteries while I read Rose a story upstairs.  When it ended she went up to brush her teeth and I looked for another Murdoch.  The only one I found was the one she had just watched, so I put on Jeopardy! until she returned and gave me input on what she wanted to watch.  Well guess what?  She wanted to watch Jeopardy with me!!  I don't think I've really watched it since Emma was born.  And I could see her looking at (reading?) the words.  She thought it was great!  Let's hope she keeps her interest in it, so I can test my knowledge on any and all things another night soon.

Stay tuned for more random thoughts from me.  Toodles!

Things I've Learned Vacationing With Small Children

Next week we are going to a cottage for the week.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  The forecast (so far) looks great, the cottage is old hat now - this is our 3rd year going, and the girls just get older and better every year.

We've gone many places in the last few years, with and without the kids.  Here's a run down of some of the things I've learned when we drag the small children along with us:

• I always pack too much stuff.  Even just for me.  This year I'm going to be more ruthless and bring less clothes and toys.  It will work out.
• Kids can eat the same food for a week.  There are really no short-term negativities to this. When we were in the Dominican my youngest ate only pizza and spaghetti, while the oldest really only ate breakfast (pancakes and bacon) and did not succumb to hunger for the rest of the day.  Yes, my kids are weird.
• Staying up late does NOT equal sleeping in the next day.  I've tried this tactic many times over the years - vacations or not.  My youngest, who is now 4 and just starting to realize sleep is a good thing, still does not sleep in.  EVER.  The almost-7-year-old has, within the last year, started staying in bed longer in the mornings.  I guess she's figuring it out.  At the cottage they share a bed, so this year will be interesting.  I'm sure eldest daughter will just tell youngest daughter to go away when she wakes up early.
• TV is a great occupier when you are somewhere with constant water access.  Making lunch (or dinner, or anything) inside while children are outside can (obviously) have the potential for disaster.  We've been lucky that there have only been scrapes and cuts at the cottage in the past years, no water-related incidences.  But when you're the only adult at the moment you need to keep those kids where you can see them!
• Invite as many people to visit over the week as you can.  This is great entertainment for the kids, and the adults too.  Also they can bring you fresh food/drinks/toys etc so you don't have to pay twice as much at the close-by small grocery store.  Bonus points if they'll take away your bag of garbage and your recyclables when they leave!
• Never underestimate the power of a pen (or pencil) and a pad of paper.  My eldest loves carrying around notebooks and a pen so she can just draw whatever, whenever.  She even has a clipboard so she can sit on the ground and create art on a whim.  I'm going to be sure there is lots of plain paper with us this year.
• Lastly, take time for yourself, moms and dads.  Sit down, outside, with a drink.  Let the kids run wild (after sharing all the rules and regulations for your location).  Unless they're screaming and fighting, leave them alone.  I know your parent-radar is always on - at least mine is - but I have learned to let it run in the background.  Sometimes I'll move my chair so I can at least see where the kids are, but I can still sit with my book and my drink, and trust that my kids are finally old enough and responsible enough to know if what they're doing is safe, and tattle on each other if they know it's not!  It's your vacation too.  Enjoy it!

Now that the time is drawing nigh to start organizing and packing up to go, I'm realizing I don't need to take all the same things as we've taken in the past.  We're over diapers and pull ups (YAY!!), the girls love playing together, so only a few toys will be necessary.  And I'm pretty much tired of making them separate meals, so as long as there's bread and peanut butter they can just eat that all week.  This is my vacation too!

I am very much looking forward to this week off.  I love having the family come around and not have to really do anything. Meals start off half prepared and no one expects gourmet at the cottage. There's no real cleaning needed - it's clean when we get there and we sweep up when we need to.  And we just hang out.  It's great.

What do you do for summer vacations?  Do you have any other tips we can share with the readers?  Post your comments and tips below!  Thanks for reading.

Toodles!