Now I Am A Dance Mom - 6 Weeks Later

Somehow I have survived 6 weeks of dance class.  True, I do only go once a week, but I need that down time to recover so I can manage the next class!  If you missed my first blog post about starting dance class, catch up here.

The exercise I get is not exactly a cardio powerhouse, but I definitely do notice some positive body changes.  While the scale does not reflect what I feel is going on I do notice a stronger core.  I actually have some abdominal definition now (up by my ribs, not down in the "belly" area which I can't seem to tone up at all!), and my hips and legs are toning up but also not getting smaller.  I've always had "big" legs - I'd like to call them muscle-y and now they are!

All the ladies that I've danced with over the weeks are so great!  When I am sure I have no idea what I'm doing they are there with positive words, or they take me aside and show it to me again and help me learn what seems so easy for them.  The environment is amazing for learning with little to no pressure to "keep-up!"

I have learned so much over the last weeks.  The words now mean something (most of the time!) and the steps come a little more easily.  I think part of the enjoyment of these classes is the mental workout of all this learning.  I'm not too worried, I still have a lot of learning to go!

My parents, upon hearing I'm taking ballet classes now, sent me this blast from the past.  This is me at 4 years old.  I have no actual memories of taking ballet, but I've heard rumours.  Now I guess I have proof that this is not my first time at the barre.

I did spend a Wednesday evening at Kingston School of Dance while Emma had her 2 hours of dance classes.  That's the night that Adult Ballet II happens.  The ladies that do both classes were asking if I was there for that, and when I said no they tried to tell me it's just the same as Monday nights.  Well, I watched that class and, while the steps are the same (as they should be - it's ballet!), the class moves at a much faster pace.  No time for me to be stumbling around and not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing.  There may come a day where I feel I'm ready to try that out, but it's sure not now!

This week's class was the last before Christmas break.  We got to wear tutus to dance - it was so much fun!  There were only 4 ladies that night, myself included.  I think there are about 12 ladies that may be there at any given week.  Of course with Christmas looming people are very busy, so I wasn't surprised that attendance was down this week.  It was a great class - as it always is.

Since we all felt so fancy in our tutus we took a few photos at the end of class.  I would have liked to get one with Ebon (the teacher) in as well, we did get a nice one.  Here we are, the ladies of Monday night Adult Ballet I.

I am planning to continue with dance for as long as I'm enjoying it.  Maybe someday some of the grace and poise the other ladies embody will be absorbed by me.  I can dream, right? 

What Is My Brand? - How A Modern Mom Blogs

I started blogging because I like to write.  I'm not creative enough to compose a story, but writing about everyday things is easy for me.  I used to use LiveJournal (back in my University days...) and I had a little community there of friends, mostly from the Wide Mouth Mason fan sites, and I loved it!

Now that I have kids, and a husband, and I juggle work and home lives I thought I could easily write a blog.  I was right on that.  Subject matter abounds, whether anyone wants to read about it or not.

Turns out there are a TON of things I didn't know about blogging:

• I didn't realize you could make money from blogging.
• I didn't know you needed a "Brand"
• I didn't know you had to be on every form of social media
• I didn't know you could get stuff for free if you wanted to write about it
• I didn't know you needed more followers than God to qualify for some "sponsored posts"
• And I definitely didn't know it would totally take over my life at some points

I've read more about blogging in the past 6 months that I have read about anything since I was at school.  Sadly, I still don't "get" most of it.

I've joined Twitter - that's going okay except I've followed so many people now there's no way I can keep up with (or even focus on) all the tweets.  I have not gotten onto Pinterest or Instagram - I can barely keep up with Twitter and Facebook. (aside: I love that the spellcheck does not know either the word Pinterest or Instagram.  Makes me think the world has not gone as digital as I've thought!)

And this "Brand" business - what is that even?  I mean I get it, if you're an author, or a crafter, or a parenting magazine.  But why do I, the average mom blogger, need a "Brand"?  My brand is just me writing about stuff that I do, or my kids do, that's interesting - or maybe some drama that's happened in our lives that I want to share.  I see so many posts and sites about having a "brand."  Do I need one?  Does it help define me in some way?  I don't really get it.

I would so love to make money from my blog.  I do not have nearly enough readers to allow me to qualify for anything really interesting - and I refuse to belong to every possible social site just for promotion's sake.  I also can't fill my blog with ads - I want people to read my material, not navigate around ads!

I have done a book review, where I got the book for free.  That was cool because I love reading.  I'm getting another book (this time a children's book) for free and I will write a review for that as well.  I've applied for a few other things to review, but it doesn't usually work out since I don't have a lot of "unique pageviews" for my blog.  Some sites and companies want you to have over 1500 unique pageviews - say what?  That's unattainable for me right now.

I was super excited to see my ballet teacher share my last post about my adult ballet lessons.  Sure, my hubby sent the link to him to read, but still - someone new reading (and sharing!) my stuff!  Excitement!

I'm trying very hard to not be bogged down by all the "shoulds" of blogging.  I want to share my events, thoughts, feelings, milestones, and interesting tidbits with people who appreciate them.  If I get free stuff, or make $2 that's just a bonus.  I don't want to obsess about "unique pageviews" or Twitter followers, or whether I qualify for any specific reviews, sponsored posts, or anything else.

Friends, I hope you appreciate my candour - I will always be sure to tell you if my posts are sponsored in any way.  And let me know if there's anything you'd like me to post about.  Or if there's posts you didn't care for and don't want to see more about.  A blog is only as good as it's readers!

Labour Day Weekend Party - Fun and Frivolity - Then Back To School!

We had a party.  A family friendly, everyone we knew was invited, party on the Sunday of the long weekend.  We didn't inspire many more people to show up than the usual suspects, but we had a great weekend.  So much so that I hosted a party Part 2 on the holiday Monday.  I mean I had a ton of wine and foodstuffs left over (even after I sent people home with stuff!) so a second gathering seemed like a great idea!

I guess at peak population there were 25 people.  My boss came, as well as a prior co-worker (with her 2 little ones).  Hubby's business partner came with his little guy and a family friend with his 10 year old.  Of course our neighbour friend Abby was by - she even showed up early!  Plus some of my family members, and Hubby's mom.  Our daycare lady, and her daughter - our babysitter - arrived right on time.  It was a great afternoon.  Some people I thought may appear did not, but that didn't dampen our spirits any.  Food and drink was plentiful and I think most folks had a nice time.

I was genuinely surprised at my kids.  They sat at the kid's table with the other kids (both big and small) and really didn't mingle with the adults at all.  No lap sitting, no begging to be pushed on the swing (they all pushed each other), and not much fighting.  I forget how old my kids are now, and how easy it is for them to amuse themselves with each other!

So summer is over for the kiddos now.  It's back to school tomorrow, although technically summer doesn't end until the middle-end of September.  Hopefully the weekends stay nice and "free" so the kids can hang out and do their own things before the weather starts to turn cold.  I hope to have a few more nice weekends for barbeques and outdoor time.  It was nice to squeeze in the extra visits this afternoon with some friends.

I love hosting parties since it gives us a serious reason to tidy the house.  We have reorganized so much stuff even I feel like I have no idea where stuff is.  The kids rooms easily turn into disaster zones now that we've put all their stuff upstairs.  Life is always a work-in-progress, but when I can't find my stuff it definitely feels more like "work" than "progress"!

I hope everyone else's summer ended on a high note.  We've had a great season and I hope to continue it into the fall.  Once this humidity breaks I'll be one happy mama!  Fall weather is my favourite for sure.

Happy Back-To-School to everyone out there - enjoy the season!  Toodles!

7 Things I'm Appreciating This Summer

This summer is going along swimmingly.  The kids are 4 and 6 (almost 7) so we're well clear of "baby baggage."  Meaning if we want to go somewhere, we just grab some snacks (and pjs if we'll be out late) and go.  We don't need diaper bags, and planned itineraries, with foreknowledge of all stops between A and B usable for nursing, changing, or just strollering around a baby who's been fussing for ages. I guess this is the first thing I'm grateful for!

• Living where I live - meaning both in Kingston, and in my neighbourhood.  There are tons of events in town during the summer.  Most of the stuff we check out is free, but there are so many interesting things going on we really have to pick and choose what we want to do!  Also we live about 10 minutes from downtown.  This means I get to work quickly and easily, and we can decide whether to do Movies in the Square with only a little lead time and we still get a good seat.
• My clothesline - I know it's corny but I love hanging our clothes outside.  We put up a new section of fence earlier this summer and now I have a nice long clothesline that helps my clothes dry and feel fresh.  Also the kids like to help by handing clothespins and such and soon they'll be able to reach and hang stuff themselves!
• My kids senses of adventure - We took an unplanned hike (quite rugged terrain) and the girls loved it!  They want to do more.  And they want to go to Wonderland and try the rides.  And they like seeing things in the theatre - live plays and stuff (as well as any movie).  I wouldn't say they're thrill seekers, but definitely up for new experiences.
• The weather - Also a corny thought, I love that the weather is always changing.  I love the hot days that I can justify sitting around reading my book, and I love the rainy days that water my gardens.  Watching storm clouds roll up and being outside watching the lightning before the rain.  The other day we had an amazing deluge and then a fantastic double rainbow.  It was beautiful.
• My family - If it wasn't for them (immediate and extended) I wouldn't be able to do as many cool and interesting (to me!) things in my life.  I love that my kids get lots of time with grandparents and aunts and uncles - it gives them different experiences they would not necessarily get with us, and teaches them to be flexible and to learn to obey other's rules.  If any of you are reading this - I appreciate you more than you know!
• All our friends - separately, and together, you have made our live easier and more fun.  Thank you to our neighbours who do look our for our kids and property; my co-workers (who I consider friends) for listening to me, and sometimes joining me, at local events, concerts and attractions and I am so amped up to visit; my mom friends, who I don't see as much as I'd like, but I know you're there if and when I need you; and our random backyard barbecue/cottage/after-event friends who are always up for a good time, kids included.

I know there are more things I'm appreciating this summer, but that's a long enough post for now.  What are you enjoying more this summer?  Anything I miss?  Post it in the comments, and stay tuned for more random mom posts! ;)

Toodles!

Is It A Vacation, or a "Family Vacation"?

The family went to a cottage for a week's vacation.  Vacation happened, we relaxed by the water, did some swimming and camp-fire-ing, visiting with nature and all that.  However the royal "we" also:

• Packed up shop at home for about 3 days (which includes numerous loads of laundry, and trips to the grocery store etc.) then jammed it all into the back of the truck
• Made the beds, swept the floor, stocked the fridge, organized the luggage, and so on AT the cottage when we arrived
• Cooked, cleaned, washed the dishes (by hand!), made the beds (some days), swept our messes up, and washed some clothes by hand in the sink
• Had an eye on the kids at all times - are they on the dock?  do they have lifejackets on? did they have breakfast? is it bedtime? is the fire going? are they close to it? and so on...

I was happy to go back to work after returning home and washing yet more loads of laundry and trying to put the house back together after we took all the important stuff away with us.  That trip was definitely a "family vacation."

Later this week hubby and I are taking some time for ourselves and going to Toronto for a few days.  My parents are having the girls stay with them for those same few days (plus an extra 2 overnights, before and after).  So far for this trip I have:

• Packed luggage for the girls, as well as accessory bags with toys and food they'll actually eat
• Done yet more laundry for everyone to have clean clothes while away
• and tried to not buy much groceries for the time between these two trips so I don't have to throw out food when we get back!

I can't wait to stay in a hotel for a few nights, and eat some meals out and about that I don't even have to think about until I get where I'm eating (and that I don't have to clean up after!!).  I also can't wait to not have to put the kids to bed for a few nights, and to stay up late(r) without knowing someone will be up at 6:20 to get me up.  Sadly I know I will be awake before 7am most days anyway, as I'm now biologically programmed that way.

We have a few things planned (a baseball game, visits with friends, and a trip to Canada's Wonderland) but overall we're just going to be with each other and do what strikes our fancy.  What I do know is this is a much better chance for me to relax, than when we're at a waterfront with two young kids and no maid service! ;)

Toodles!

Things I've Learned Vacationing With Small Children

Next week we are going to a cottage for the week.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  The forecast (so far) looks great, the cottage is old hat now - this is our 3rd year going, and the girls just get older and better every year.

We've gone many places in the last few years, with and without the kids.  Here's a run down of some of the things I've learned when we drag the small children along with us:

• I always pack too much stuff.  Even just for me.  This year I'm going to be more ruthless and bring less clothes and toys.  It will work out.
• Kids can eat the same food for a week.  There are really no short-term negativities to this. When we were in the Dominican my youngest ate only pizza and spaghetti, while the oldest really only ate breakfast (pancakes and bacon) and did not succumb to hunger for the rest of the day.  Yes, my kids are weird.
• Staying up late does NOT equal sleeping in the next day.  I've tried this tactic many times over the years - vacations or not.  My youngest, who is now 4 and just starting to realize sleep is a good thing, still does not sleep in.  EVER.  The almost-7-year-old has, within the last year, started staying in bed longer in the mornings.  I guess she's figuring it out.  At the cottage they share a bed, so this year will be interesting.  I'm sure eldest daughter will just tell youngest daughter to go away when she wakes up early.
• TV is a great occupier when you are somewhere with constant water access.  Making lunch (or dinner, or anything) inside while children are outside can (obviously) have the potential for disaster.  We've been lucky that there have only been scrapes and cuts at the cottage in the past years, no water-related incidences.  But when you're the only adult at the moment you need to keep those kids where you can see them!
• Invite as many people to visit over the week as you can.  This is great entertainment for the kids, and the adults too.  Also they can bring you fresh food/drinks/toys etc so you don't have to pay twice as much at the close-by small grocery store.  Bonus points if they'll take away your bag of garbage and your recyclables when they leave!
• Never underestimate the power of a pen (or pencil) and a pad of paper.  My eldest loves carrying around notebooks and a pen so she can just draw whatever, whenever.  She even has a clipboard so she can sit on the ground and create art on a whim.  I'm going to be sure there is lots of plain paper with us this year.
• Lastly, take time for yourself, moms and dads.  Sit down, outside, with a drink.  Let the kids run wild (after sharing all the rules and regulations for your location).  Unless they're screaming and fighting, leave them alone.  I know your parent-radar is always on - at least mine is - but I have learned to let it run in the background.  Sometimes I'll move my chair so I can at least see where the kids are, but I can still sit with my book and my drink, and trust that my kids are finally old enough and responsible enough to know if what they're doing is safe, and tattle on each other if they know it's not!  It's your vacation too.  Enjoy it!

Now that the time is drawing nigh to start organizing and packing up to go, I'm realizing I don't need to take all the same things as we've taken in the past.  We're over diapers and pull ups (YAY!!), the girls love playing together, so only a few toys will be necessary.  And I'm pretty much tired of making them separate meals, so as long as there's bread and peanut butter they can just eat that all week.  This is my vacation too!

I am very much looking forward to this week off.  I love having the family come around and not have to really do anything. Meals start off half prepared and no one expects gourmet at the cottage. There's no real cleaning needed - it's clean when we get there and we sweep up when we need to.  And we just hang out.  It's great.

What do you do for summer vacations?  Do you have any other tips we can share with the readers?  Post your comments and tips below!  Thanks for reading.

Toodles!

Old Friends Becoming Mom (or Parent) Friends

I am ridiculously excited. I have a coffee date tomorrow with a friend (who I love!) that I have not really spent any time with since before I had kids. My oldest child is now 6 so it's been a while. She has also had 2 girls in the intervening years so my pre-child friend is fast becoming an awesome mom friend.

This friend of mine has spent all of her time over the last few years completing a degree, often by correspondence, while having babies and toddlers and of that. She just recently finished up and I am so excited for her, not to mention in awe of the things she has accomplished during the very young child phase of her life.

Her daughters dance at the same studio as mine and now with this crazy rehearsal schedule we've been running into each other more. I was so glad she was as keen as I was to get together!   I've tried reconnecting with other old friends with much less success.

In case you can't tell I am very much looking forward to this coffee date. Partly because I'm going to indulge in some fancy (expensive) coffee and snack, and partly because I miss sitting with my friends and just talking.

I hope this is the beginning of my return to doing the things I used to do all the time before kids. Of course the things will be modified and changed to fit my current lifestyle, but so will be the people I hope to do these things with!


Toodles!

Making (And Keeping) Friends Through All Stages of Life

I find the act of having friends changes many times through life. Is anyone out there still friends with kids from Kindergarten?   I'd guess very few. I used to think I was not good at making friends, but I've since decided that's not the case. Sometimes the people you think you want to befriend are not the ones you should befriend.

It took me a long time to figure out who I actually wanted to be friends with in high school. Turns out who I thought I liked I didn't connect with. The problem turned out to be me. I didn't know who I was, so how could I know who to surround myself with? Once I embraced my quirks and individuality I found those people who liked me for me (and my quirks!)

Now that I'm a grownup and a mom, I feel friends are much different than when I was a kid.  I had a collection of highschool friends, then University friends, and now, while I still talk to some of those past friends, my friend requirements have changed again.  It's easy to be friends at school when you all have classes together, or live together, or share teams and other interests.  Once you are truly on your own some of those friendships are hard to keep alive.  For me, I moved into marriage and kids which left some of my friends behind.  They were on the same path, just lagging a bit further behind than me.  Also I moved apart from my friends - even thought we are still in the same town we are scattered around so we don't bump into each other without significant planning.

Once you throw kids into the mix, all bets are off.  I chose to breastfeed, which means being with your baby 24/7 for what feels like ever.  In reality it's like 4 months until baby can sleep for a long stretch or be more amused by other people, before mom (milk factory) can escape for a bit.  I think it's normal to lose some non-parent friends at this stage.  You're not in the same life phase, and oftentimes they just don't get what life is like with kids.  But you are also in a perfect place to make new-parent friends.  They can be found a playgroups, libraries, daycare centres etc.

Right now, in my life, I have very few friends that I see socially.  I'm 35, married, 2 kids ages 4 and 6, working 30+ hours per week and blogging.  There are a lot of people I think of as friends, but the categories they fall into are more co-worker, neighbour, and friends I talk to online but rarely see in person.  And then, of course, there's my husband who's my best friend, and the friend I spend all my time with. :)

I try to plan and coordinate events or things to do with my friends, but life is busy for everyone.  Now that my kids are finally out of toddlerhood and are happy with Dad or babysitter putting them to bed, I'm finding it easier to get out more.  This Friday night I'm going to a concert - but likely by myself as I haven't found that perfect music-loving friend that would enjoy it as much as me.

Not sure if there's a moral to my story, but I've always been interested in the social changes people go through in life.  Anyone out there have any other thoughts on making friends throughout life?  Or tips for maintaining friendships through the busy stages of life?  Please leave a comment if you read this all the way through (it's a long post for me!) and share your friend-making stories.  Hope you enjoyed!

Toodles!

Neighbourhood Community

I live in a very nice neighbourhood.  There are lots of kids close by for my 2 girls to play with, there is a park across the street, and most of the people are friendly.  I really enjoy being in this area of town.

My next-door neighbours (we live in a semi-detached, so my attached neighbours) have sold their house.  I'm a little apprehensive.  I quite enjoy the neighbours we have now and I can only hope the next ones are as nice.  The girls are excited to see who moves in as the two boys next door are a little older (8 and 10 ish) and they are loud in their home so we hear them sometimes stomping up the stairs and such.  I tried to warn the girls that the next people may not be any quieter.

The bus for the girl's school stops on the street behind us so we have to walk halfway around the block to catch it.  One other girl from my daughter's grade 1 class gets on with her, as well as 2 brothers.  The parents are so nice and try hard to be friendly and chatty at the stop while we're waiting.  Sadly the 2 brothers are also moving out of the neighbourhood after this school year, but in the fall my youngest will be starting school also and maybe there will be other, younger, children close by starting as well.

I find it funny that each street has it's own complement of kids who play together.  Sometimes Emma (my eldest) goes around the corner to play with the little girl in her class who gets on the bus with her.  Around there she would play with about 5 kids of various ages and who go to different schools, but when at home playing there is one "best friend" girl who lives across the street and then 2 regular other kids who play with them, sometimes adding a couple older kids who live further down the street.  Mostly the kids on our street do not mingle, or maybe even know, the kids on the other street.  Also the boys next door have a group of kids they play with who don't really intersect with the kids my girls play with.  Childhood friendships can be quite intricate things!

I wonder if part of the separation has to do with the "helicopter parent" generation versus the "free range" idea of parenting.  I have no problem with Emma (who is 6 1/2) walking around the corner to play with the other kids or crossing the street to go to the park unsupervised, but that was how I was brought up - go play until the streetlights come on mentality.  I know parenting has changed, but my personal belief is that they world is no worse now (crime etc) that when we were kids, it's just that hear about every single thing now that media forces everything into your face over many many technology platforms.

My hope is that my kids have a fun and memorable childhood like I did, and that I can let them be independent and safe at the same time.

Toodles!