My Mom Confessions Part 1 - The Baby Years

*This post is personal, and not intended to offend anyone, or spark any great "child care" debates.  Read at your own risk*

I always thought I'd be a great mom.  My mom always seemed to know what she was doing, and I hoped I could continue that family trend.  I was so wrong.  And since this blog is where I can just talk about whatever I like (and hopefully people are enjoying it so far!) I'm going to publish a list of the things that I've done during the baby years that may not have gone along with the current trends.

1. In the beginning I couldn't stand my baby.  My first baby.  The thing I had been waiting 9 months (and 2 years, I think, trying to conceive) for.  If she wasn't nursing, she was crying.  If she wasn't crying or nursing, she was sleeping - only for a short period, and only in someone's arms (usually mine as she fell asleep nursing).  Eventually the baby swing became my best friend, but it took a bit for me to figure this out.  Hand in hand with this was...
2. I co-slept with my first baby until she was almost one year old.  Or maybe past her first birthday, I don't really remember.  Funny how a year of barely sleeping muddles your memories...
3. I introduced baby #1 to rice cereal at 5 months.  It was just a day where I couldn't take the nursing every 10 minutes.  Thank god for random samples of everything that you get if you sign up for stuff when you have a baby.  If you're so hungry, eat this instead!  And guess what, she ate it and loved it!  I think this may have been a small turning point for me - meaning I finally realized things will get better.
4. Going back to work after maternity leave almost felt like a vacation for me.  Someone else is now watching my fussy kid (who, by this time was becoming quite cute and interesting and less of a time-consuming monster) and I get to go interact with other humans who actually speak and listen and have to be nice to me (at least some of the time).
5. Escaping the house was such a great relief to me that I would work myself into minor anxiety attacks at the end of every work day when I had to go get the baby from daycare.  Sometimes there would be tears before I pulled into the driveway to pick her up.  And then that would cause yet more mom guilt.  Vicious cycle.
6. I hated reading bedtime stories.  Bedtime is supposed to be this nice, relaxing, bonding time with your child, right?  WRONG!  We would read stories for an hour and she would still put up a fuss.  This is around age 2 or 3.  And of course toss a new baby into the mix and all bets are off.  Luckily baby #2 was a blessing - she slept on her own right from the beginning.  I thought she had died the first time she did it, as I had never experienced a newborn going to sleep.  I don't think I would have made it if she hadn't been a "good" baby from the beginning.
7. I liked baby #2 better from the get-go.  That's not saying I love one child over the other, I just enjoyed baby #2's baby stage much better than #1's.  Is that because I now "knew what I was doing?" and was less of an anxious first-time mom?  I'm sure that's a factor.

This is definitely not an exhaustive list.  Just some highlights that I think may be helpful, or interesting, to other moms (and dads!) who may be dealing with some of these things.  I know it's always helpful to me when I stumble upon other people who are coping with the things I'm going through, and hearing about their trials and tribulations usually makes me feel better about my own scenario.

Share in the comments, if you have any similar (or completely different) confessions or things you've done with or for your babies that may have gone against popular opinion.

And stay tuned as I plan to continue this "confessions" series into the now ages of my kids, and on.  Thanks for reading!

Toodles!

Our Top 5 Ways To Keep Cool

We're having a heat wave right now in Ontario.  It's hot.  When we leave the house in the morning, it's hot.  When we come home at night, it's hot.  I have to water my plants like crazy because - you guessed it - it's hot!  While we wait for a break in the weather I thought I'd share with you the ways we stay cool when the temperature gets hot.

• Swimming in "Nanny's Pool."  Hubby's mom has a pool and lives nearby.  This is a no brainer, although we don't take advantage as much as we could.  The girls spend every Sunday with their Nanny, so they take more advantage that we parents do.  But it's nice to know it's there and to take a dip on sunny Sunday afternoons.
• Putting on the sprinkler.  This is an oldie, and a goodie.  I remember sprinkler play from when I was a little kid.  Sometimes we get a few neighbour kids joining is as well.  This makes for a very fun afternoon for the girls.
• Outings to cooler places - like the mall, or the movies, or even just downtown on the waterfront.  There is almost always a breeze by the water and it does make for cooler days.  Plus the kids love looking at boats and other interesting waterfront things, or just taking a walk.
• For them - Freezies and popsicles.  For me - cold Palm Bays or White Wine.  Also, lots of hydrating liquids for everyone.
• The number one way we stay cool at home is, of course, air conditioning.  It is the hugest blessing you can imagine.  Because of our central air I can sleep at night.  And we can cool down after some fun outdoor play (in the crazy hot weather).

So there you have it - my top 5 ways to keep my cool in the sweltering hot days of summer.  My hope is always that the hot days will bring some good thunderstorms (which will water my gardens) but that has not come to pass as much this year as some.  Clouds do appear to be rolling in as I write this.  My eternally hopeful soul prays for a storm, but only time will tell.

How do you, faithful readers, keep your cool in the dog days of summer?  Share in the comments and we may put your ideas to good use as well!  Thanks for reading.

Toodles!

7 Things I'm Appreciating This Summer

This summer is going along swimmingly.  The kids are 4 and 6 (almost 7) so we're well clear of "baby baggage."  Meaning if we want to go somewhere, we just grab some snacks (and pjs if we'll be out late) and go.  We don't need diaper bags, and planned itineraries, with foreknowledge of all stops between A and B usable for nursing, changing, or just strollering around a baby who's been fussing for ages. I guess this is the first thing I'm grateful for!

• Living where I live - meaning both in Kingston, and in my neighbourhood.  There are tons of events in town during the summer.  Most of the stuff we check out is free, but there are so many interesting things going on we really have to pick and choose what we want to do!  Also we live about 10 minutes from downtown.  This means I get to work quickly and easily, and we can decide whether to do Movies in the Square with only a little lead time and we still get a good seat.
• My clothesline - I know it's corny but I love hanging our clothes outside.  We put up a new section of fence earlier this summer and now I have a nice long clothesline that helps my clothes dry and feel fresh.  Also the kids like to help by handing clothespins and such and soon they'll be able to reach and hang stuff themselves!
• My kids senses of adventure - We took an unplanned hike (quite rugged terrain) and the girls loved it!  They want to do more.  And they want to go to Wonderland and try the rides.  And they like seeing things in the theatre - live plays and stuff (as well as any movie).  I wouldn't say they're thrill seekers, but definitely up for new experiences.
• The weather - Also a corny thought, I love that the weather is always changing.  I love the hot days that I can justify sitting around reading my book, and I love the rainy days that water my gardens.  Watching storm clouds roll up and being outside watching the lightning before the rain.  The other day we had an amazing deluge and then a fantastic double rainbow.  It was beautiful.
• My family - If it wasn't for them (immediate and extended) I wouldn't be able to do as many cool and interesting (to me!) things in my life.  I love that my kids get lots of time with grandparents and aunts and uncles - it gives them different experiences they would not necessarily get with us, and teaches them to be flexible and to learn to obey other's rules.  If any of you are reading this - I appreciate you more than you know!
• All our friends - separately, and together, you have made our live easier and more fun.  Thank you to our neighbours who do look our for our kids and property; my co-workers (who I consider friends) for listening to me, and sometimes joining me, at local events, concerts and attractions and I am so amped up to visit; my mom friends, who I don't see as much as I'd like, but I know you're there if and when I need you; and our random backyard barbecue/cottage/after-event friends who are always up for a good time, kids included.

I know there are more things I'm appreciating this summer, but that's a long enough post for now.  What are you enjoying more this summer?  Anything I miss?  Post it in the comments, and stay tuned for more random mom posts! ;)

Toodles!

Ages and Stages - My Girls Keep Growing!

Last night after work I took the girls outside.  We grabbed a blanket and my Yoga book and we had a stretching session.  I'm amazed at the flexibility of my daughters.  I was also amazed that Rose was interested in trying this out.  Of course we had to eat Cheerios while we were yoga-ing, but they both took an interest and did some of the moves along with me.

My girls are quickly leaving the really little kid stuff behind.  They will happily tell me some shows are too "baby" for them (Emma more than Rose) and they both understand the philosophy of passing on your too small clothes, so they can graduate into more new (to them) clothes.  I don't really know when I noticed this stuff starting to happen, but it's in full flow now.

My favourite thing that is happening now is their ability to reason.  There are many less "tantrums" as they've started flexing their reasoning muscles.  We can (usually) calmly discuss sharing and taking turns, as well as if we watch movie A now we can watch movie B next time.  This doesn't always end well, but we're getting there.

Along with reasoning is the knowledge that 'it is time to sleep when I'm tired.'  Emma took a very long time to learn this skill.  Rose is further along at a younger age, and actually goes and lays down for a nap if she's tired in the afternoon.  We've gotten away from naps with her, but sometimes she'll just take one and not even tell anyone!

Last week my parents had the girls for 4 days at their place.  Usually getting them there entails tears and fits and all that (even though they always have a good time), but not this time.  Genuine excitement and full knowledge they were going to be there for a few days in a row.  My mom told me that before they were brought back home they both - separately - went to her and told her they would miss her and asked for snuggles.  How sweet, right?  Then they were super affectionate with me when they got back, which I totally missed while they were away.

The real excitement for me was also last night.  Emma watched her Murdoch Mysteries while I read Rose a story upstairs.  When it ended she went up to brush her teeth and I looked for another Murdoch.  The only one I found was the one she had just watched, so I put on Jeopardy! until she returned and gave me input on what she wanted to watch.  Well guess what?  She wanted to watch Jeopardy with me!!  I don't think I've really watched it since Emma was born.  And I could see her looking at (reading?) the words.  She thought it was great!  Let's hope she keeps her interest in it, so I can test my knowledge on any and all things another night soon.

Stay tuned for more random thoughts from me.  Toodles!

Is It A Vacation, or a "Family Vacation"?

The family went to a cottage for a week's vacation.  Vacation happened, we relaxed by the water, did some swimming and camp-fire-ing, visiting with nature and all that.  However the royal "we" also:

• Packed up shop at home for about 3 days (which includes numerous loads of laundry, and trips to the grocery store etc.) then jammed it all into the back of the truck
• Made the beds, swept the floor, stocked the fridge, organized the luggage, and so on AT the cottage when we arrived
• Cooked, cleaned, washed the dishes (by hand!), made the beds (some days), swept our messes up, and washed some clothes by hand in the sink
• Had an eye on the kids at all times - are they on the dock?  do they have lifejackets on? did they have breakfast? is it bedtime? is the fire going? are they close to it? and so on...

I was happy to go back to work after returning home and washing yet more loads of laundry and trying to put the house back together after we took all the important stuff away with us.  That trip was definitely a "family vacation."

Later this week hubby and I are taking some time for ourselves and going to Toronto for a few days.  My parents are having the girls stay with them for those same few days (plus an extra 2 overnights, before and after).  So far for this trip I have:

• Packed luggage for the girls, as well as accessory bags with toys and food they'll actually eat
• Done yet more laundry for everyone to have clean clothes while away
• and tried to not buy much groceries for the time between these two trips so I don't have to throw out food when we get back!

I can't wait to stay in a hotel for a few nights, and eat some meals out and about that I don't even have to think about until I get where I'm eating (and that I don't have to clean up after!!).  I also can't wait to not have to put the kids to bed for a few nights, and to stay up late(r) without knowing someone will be up at 6:20 to get me up.  Sadly I know I will be awake before 7am most days anyway, as I'm now biologically programmed that way.

We have a few things planned (a baseball game, visits with friends, and a trip to Canada's Wonderland) but overall we're just going to be with each other and do what strikes our fancy.  What I do know is this is a much better chance for me to relax, than when we're at a waterfront with two young kids and no maid service! ;)

Toodles!

Blogging Needs Social Media...

...or at least it does if you want people besides your mom and best friend to read it.

I started blogging to just talk about my days.  And my family.  And whatever cool thing we did/are doing/or might be interesting.  Then I started reading about blogging.  About how to increase your readership, and how to make money.

What I was just enjoying doing suddenly had so much potential.  I could be read by people all over the world!  And I could make money while they're reading stuff!  So I delved further into the world of bloggers, affiliate links, sponsored posts, Google Analytics, and how to share everything that no one wants to read everywhere online.

I was quickly overwhelmed by all the things you can join for "monetizing" your blog.  I joined some, and put some ads up, and absolutely nothing happened.  I've since un-joined some programs, as if I'm not doing anything useful on a bunch of "make money" sites, I can make just as little if I'm only on a few.  Also I'm deathly afraid of cluttering up my words with a bunch of ads - I don't want to do that to my readers.

So then I looked into sponsored posts.  That's where someone gives you money, or free product, and then you blog about their stuff.  But I've discovered you don't just need to blog about it, you also need to Tweet about it, and pin it on Pinterest, and share pics of it on Instagram, as well as post a post on Facebook.  That seems like overkill to me.  I'd happily get some free product and then talk about it on my blog, or maybe on Facebook, but I'm not doing it on every platform available.  So none of that is panning out either.

I love blogging.  Putting my thoughts down, sharing my life experiences, hoping others can identify with my life in some aspect, it makes me feel good (and sometimes creative).  If I could find a way to make money doing this, that would be super-awesome-cool, but that's not my ultimate goal.  And I'm trying hard not to waste my time looking into all these money-making schemes, since it's not realistic to think that the 300 reads I get a month is really more than 10 people looking at my blog every day.  I'll leave up some of my click-through ads like Indigo and Amazon - people actually go to those sites - but I'm going to stop checking my sponsored posts sites I now belong to as often, since I know there won't often be things I'd like to talk about, and I don't belong to enough social media to even meet some of the requirements.

Twitter I am still exploring and trying to work out.  You can follow me there @modernmomslife.  I can see it's potential for reaching lots of people and sharing things quickly - but I'm still finding it hard sometimes to limit myself to 140 characters.  I need to find a link shortener so my blog links aren't so long.  Any suggestions?

I've been on Google+ for a while now.  Find me there.  I mostly only use G+ for sharing my posts and reading other people's.  It's well integrated with Gmail and the Blogger platform that it was a natural first place for me to start sharing posts.

I have a Facebook page here.  I share my posts and other relevant posts from mom bloggers (or whomever I find interesting).  I have a higher interaction rate with FB as I check my personal account often throughout the day.

And that's about it - I haven't joined Pinterest or Instagram as I feel like I waste enough of my life online as it is.  I don't know if I can handle more!  I need to be free to just be with my hubby and kids, and I work 30+ hours a week as well.

Comment below with your Twitter handles, Facebook pages or G+ pages.  I'm always looking for like-minded people to connect with!

Toodles!

Culture Shock After Barely A Week At The Cottage?

We had a fabulous family week at a cottage in Sharbot Lake.  Our close friends and family came to visit.  I had a great time, but I do feel like I have more "work" to do there than at home.  Well maybe not more, but different work to do, for sure:

• I had to hand-wash the dishes.  Not a big deal, but a time eater.
• I hand washed clothes a few days and hung them outside.  Another time eater, as well as an arm workout from all the manual agitating of the stuff in the sink.
• Being always on alert for the kids outside - I mean we were 5 big steps away from the water at all times there.
• Making sure the kids had 3 meals plus snacks - as a working mom I only have to worry about this at most 2 days a week.

We arrived home late this morning and we lunched and sent the kids to a birthday party (otherwise we'd still be at the cottage tonight...)  We unpacked the truck, put the food away and I immediately started in on laundry and clean up.  I even indulged in a bath.

It's so nice to be home and have every comfort available.  But sometimes I wonder - if we can live at a cottage for a week with nothing to do, and I can stay off my phone for entire days at a time, why do I have to exist here, in this house full of stuff we don't really ever use, and constantly crave being online although I know nothing is going on there either?  It's such a strange life we live.  We have everything, but need so very little.

I think this is what's driving me crazy.  I long (already) to go back to the days where we eat, clean up, go outside and enjoy the day, eat, clean up, enjoy the day some more, eat again, clean up and then put the kids to bed.

Enjoying the day consisted of:

• Lake play - swimming, paddleboating, fishing
• Reading or sitting quietly (while always "watching" the kids)
• Feeding the wildlife
• Reading
• Sitting quietly (wait, did I say these already?)

Yes, there was tv, and yes, we let the kids watch a movie, or spend a little time with our phones, but we were mostly unplugged and just with each other, and with nature.  It was awesome.  No one even asked to go home (this has happened in the past.)

I'm trying to relax back into home life (we had Kraft Dinner for supper today) and not let it not get me down that the kids have no interest in going outside tonight, and that's all I want to do - pour a glass of wine and go sit outside.  After all that's what I've been doing for the last week!