My Mom Confessions Part 3 - Random Mom Thoughts

*This post is personal and not meant to offend anyone, or spark any great "child care" debates.  Read at your own risk*

Some of the "confessions" I'd like to share are more general, more about me than the kids.  So this post will outline some of my more personal mom thoughts about the way I've been raising my daughters.  Read on and (hopefully!) enjoy.

1. I've spent about 6 years perfecting "mom anxiety."  From the minute my first child was born I was anxious about everything relating to her.  My most anxious moments happen when someone is sick - like throwing up sick.  I feel compelled to be by that child's side every minute, and always with a receptacle at hand to minimize future clean-up.  This lovely anxiety lead to...
2. I did not gain a pound during my second pregnancy.  I'm not saying this to make anyone jealous, by any means.  I topped out at 200lbs during my first pregnancy, so I was definitely not a "skinny minny" by any stretch.  But my toddler was almost as rough as she was as a baby, so I was still experiencing "home time" anxiety at work, which led me to not be hungry for dinners.  Also I had awful, all day, "morning sickness" at least through half of both my pregnancies.  Looking back from where I am now, I had a terrible time for those 4 or so years!
3. My daycare lady was (and still is) one of my favourite people of all time.  I am not at all ashamed to think that she has been with my kids more during their waking hours than I ever have been.  She loves them just like I do, and they love her too.  I don't know if I could have found a better day care, and I don't care.  She is a blessing to our family, and I hope she remains our friend long after the girls are done being in her care.
4. My house is a disaster.  My kids have too much stuff.  Even I have too much stuff.  And don't get me started on my hubby!  We live in a multi-level semi-detached house.  It was too small when it was just hubby and me.  Now we have kids, and toys, and craft supplies, and so so so many books.  I mean it's great, but I need about 10 more hours in a week to deal with the messes that we make just by living.
5. The recycling bin gets most of my kids crafts.  It's not that I don't love their art and other stuff they create, but what am I going to do with 1,000,000 pieces of construction paper with scribbly drawings on them?  I do keep a few good things from every time frame (which is now becoming every grade) and put them in a Rubbermaid bin with their name on it.  Even this practice is becoming too much!
6. I leave my kids unattended a lot.  Even when they were smaller, I would go upstairs while they were playing in the living room.  If I wanted a minute to myself (like to read a book) I had to be away from them.  If I was in eyesight they would constantly talk to me and ask me to play.  Sometimes I love to play with them.  Sometimes I really don't want to.  This summer I've been escaping to the deck, under the pretence of hanging out or bringing in laundry, where I would then relax (after the work was done) with my book and a drink - sometimes an alcoholic one!
7. The idea of the girls stretching out their bedtimes terrifies me.  I enjoy basking in the quiet after the girls go to bed.  Watching something on tv I'd like to see, having tea and a cookie before bed, or just taking time to read my book may all disappear now that kid #1 is approaching 7 and already trying to darnedest to stay up late (like past 8:00).  I really don't want to lose my "me" time, and I know as they get older their likes will change and eventually they'll watch my shows with me, but we're really not there yet. 

I'm sure there are other moms out there who identify with these things.  I'm also sure there are parents who are disturbed by these confessions of mine.  And some who have completely different confessions of their own.

Parenting is just a continuous learning experience.  I am so looking forward to seeing where my kids take me next.  This life is a fabulous adventure, and I look forward to sharing more confessions in the future.

To catch up on my previous two "mom confession" posts, click here for Part 1, or here for Part 2.

Thanks for reading - please share with me your "mom confessions" or things that drive you crazy sometimes in your own home life.  I'm always interested to read other people's observations and life experiences.

Toodles!

My Mom Confessions Part 1 - The Baby Years

*This post is personal, and not intended to offend anyone, or spark any great "child care" debates.  Read at your own risk*

I always thought I'd be a great mom.  My mom always seemed to know what she was doing, and I hoped I could continue that family trend.  I was so wrong.  And since this blog is where I can just talk about whatever I like (and hopefully people are enjoying it so far!) I'm going to publish a list of the things that I've done during the baby years that may not have gone along with the current trends.

1. In the beginning I couldn't stand my baby.  My first baby.  The thing I had been waiting 9 months (and 2 years, I think, trying to conceive) for.  If she wasn't nursing, she was crying.  If she wasn't crying or nursing, she was sleeping - only for a short period, and only in someone's arms (usually mine as she fell asleep nursing).  Eventually the baby swing became my best friend, but it took a bit for me to figure this out.  Hand in hand with this was...
2. I co-slept with my first baby until she was almost one year old.  Or maybe past her first birthday, I don't really remember.  Funny how a year of barely sleeping muddles your memories...
3. I introduced baby #1 to rice cereal at 5 months.  It was just a day where I couldn't take the nursing every 10 minutes.  Thank god for random samples of everything that you get if you sign up for stuff when you have a baby.  If you're so hungry, eat this instead!  And guess what, she ate it and loved it!  I think this may have been a small turning point for me - meaning I finally realized things will get better.
4. Going back to work after maternity leave almost felt like a vacation for me.  Someone else is now watching my fussy kid (who, by this time was becoming quite cute and interesting and less of a time-consuming monster) and I get to go interact with other humans who actually speak and listen and have to be nice to me (at least some of the time).
5. Escaping the house was such a great relief to me that I would work myself into minor anxiety attacks at the end of every work day when I had to go get the baby from daycare.  Sometimes there would be tears before I pulled into the driveway to pick her up.  And then that would cause yet more mom guilt.  Vicious cycle.
6. I hated reading bedtime stories.  Bedtime is supposed to be this nice, relaxing, bonding time with your child, right?  WRONG!  We would read stories for an hour and she would still put up a fuss.  This is around age 2 or 3.  And of course toss a new baby into the mix and all bets are off.  Luckily baby #2 was a blessing - she slept on her own right from the beginning.  I thought she had died the first time she did it, as I had never experienced a newborn going to sleep.  I don't think I would have made it if she hadn't been a "good" baby from the beginning.
7. I liked baby #2 better from the get-go.  That's not saying I love one child over the other, I just enjoyed baby #2's baby stage much better than #1's.  Is that because I now "knew what I was doing?" and was less of an anxious first-time mom?  I'm sure that's a factor.

This is definitely not an exhaustive list.  Just some highlights that I think may be helpful, or interesting, to other moms (and dads!) who may be dealing with some of these things.  I know it's always helpful to me when I stumble upon other people who are coping with the things I'm going through, and hearing about their trials and tribulations usually makes me feel better about my own scenario.

Share in the comments, if you have any similar (or completely different) confessions or things you've done with or for your babies that may have gone against popular opinion.

And stay tuned as I plan to continue this "confessions" series into the now ages of my kids, and on.  Thanks for reading!

Toodles!