My Mom Confessions Part 3 - Random Mom Thoughts

*This post is personal and not meant to offend anyone, or spark any great "child care" debates.  Read at your own risk*

Some of the "confessions" I'd like to share are more general, more about me than the kids.  So this post will outline some of my more personal mom thoughts about the way I've been raising my daughters.  Read on and (hopefully!) enjoy.

1. I've spent about 6 years perfecting "mom anxiety."  From the minute my first child was born I was anxious about everything relating to her.  My most anxious moments happen when someone is sick - like throwing up sick.  I feel compelled to be by that child's side every minute, and always with a receptacle at hand to minimize future clean-up.  This lovely anxiety lead to...
2. I did not gain a pound during my second pregnancy.  I'm not saying this to make anyone jealous, by any means.  I topped out at 200lbs during my first pregnancy, so I was definitely not a "skinny minny" by any stretch.  But my toddler was almost as rough as she was as a baby, so I was still experiencing "home time" anxiety at work, which led me to not be hungry for dinners.  Also I had awful, all day, "morning sickness" at least through half of both my pregnancies.  Looking back from where I am now, I had a terrible time for those 4 or so years!
3. My daycare lady was (and still is) one of my favourite people of all time.  I am not at all ashamed to think that she has been with my kids more during their waking hours than I ever have been.  She loves them just like I do, and they love her too.  I don't know if I could have found a better day care, and I don't care.  She is a blessing to our family, and I hope she remains our friend long after the girls are done being in her care.
4. My house is a disaster.  My kids have too much stuff.  Even I have too much stuff.  And don't get me started on my hubby!  We live in a multi-level semi-detached house.  It was too small when it was just hubby and me.  Now we have kids, and toys, and craft supplies, and so so so many books.  I mean it's great, but I need about 10 more hours in a week to deal with the messes that we make just by living.
5. The recycling bin gets most of my kids crafts.  It's not that I don't love their art and other stuff they create, but what am I going to do with 1,000,000 pieces of construction paper with scribbly drawings on them?  I do keep a few good things from every time frame (which is now becoming every grade) and put them in a Rubbermaid bin with their name on it.  Even this practice is becoming too much!
6. I leave my kids unattended a lot.  Even when they were smaller, I would go upstairs while they were playing in the living room.  If I wanted a minute to myself (like to read a book) I had to be away from them.  If I was in eyesight they would constantly talk to me and ask me to play.  Sometimes I love to play with them.  Sometimes I really don't want to.  This summer I've been escaping to the deck, under the pretence of hanging out or bringing in laundry, where I would then relax (after the work was done) with my book and a drink - sometimes an alcoholic one!
7. The idea of the girls stretching out their bedtimes terrifies me.  I enjoy basking in the quiet after the girls go to bed.  Watching something on tv I'd like to see, having tea and a cookie before bed, or just taking time to read my book may all disappear now that kid #1 is approaching 7 and already trying to darnedest to stay up late (like past 8:00).  I really don't want to lose my "me" time, and I know as they get older their likes will change and eventually they'll watch my shows with me, but we're really not there yet. 

I'm sure there are other moms out there who identify with these things.  I'm also sure there are parents who are disturbed by these confessions of mine.  And some who have completely different confessions of their own.

Parenting is just a continuous learning experience.  I am so looking forward to seeing where my kids take me next.  This life is a fabulous adventure, and I look forward to sharing more confessions in the future.

To catch up on my previous two "mom confession" posts, click here for Part 1, or here for Part 2.

Thanks for reading - please share with me your "mom confessions" or things that drive you crazy sometimes in your own home life.  I'm always interested to read other people's observations and life experiences.

Toodles!

Is "Mom" a Style?

I like to think I'm not totally un-fashionable.  However sometimes I know that's not true.  I think Mom Fashion should totally be a style.  You know, the jeans, t-shirt and ponytail look?  Or maybe leggings and longer shirt that may or may not go with the pants.  I embrace my random looks.  One day I can put on a dress and actually do something with my hair and I can look great.  But the next day I can't even find 2 socks that match, so I just don't care.  On those days I wear whatever pants are in the heap and aren't really dirty - or at least that's my aim but I'd be lying if I said there weren't days I got to work only realize I did spill or smear something on these pants.  Such is the life of a mom.

Parents with kids: what's your style?  Do you feel like you have a style?  Or is just aiming for clean, almost coordinated clothes style enough?

I see lots of moms in my travels around who look fabulous.  I often wonder how they have time to do their hair and keep it looking nice when my kids are always wanting to "brush" or "style" my hair, so however it started is not the way it looks right now.  Or where they got that outfit that totally goes with everything, everywhere, all the time; and if it cost them more than I make in a week.  Conversely I see lots of moms who tried maybe as hard as me, or maybe less, with their "look" for the day.  It's a funny thing.

I feel a bit like dads have it easier.  They wear one hairstyle (generally) and most of their tops match any of their pants.  Their choices for the day are running shoes or sandals, and long sleeves or short?  I know lots of men out there put a lot of time and effort into their appearance, just not a lot of the ones I know personally.  I'm not saying the men I know don't like nice - quite the opposite.  I'm just saying I bet they didn't agonize over their choices when they got dressed in the morning.  Some days I can pick out about 5 outfits and none work for how I'm feeling that day - this is not helped by my weight loss and subsequent lack of clothes that fit nicely.  I'm slowly remedying this, but it's a long (potentially expensive) process.

So to go back to my original point: I am lobbying for Mom to be a style which encompasses everyone who literally throws something on because their kids are yelling that they have nothing to wear/eat/pack for lunch etc. in the mornings.  It's not a sloppy style, unless that's really what you're going for.  It's just a relaxed look that says "I have better things to do with my life than worry about my outfits every day."

Toodles!

Pregnancies and Weight Stuggles

I was at my heaviest when I was pregnant with my first baby.  Makes sense, right?  Well yes, and no.  I went ahead and had a second baby and I did not gain any weight, except maybe 5 lbs at the very end.  In fact I started that pregnancy losing weight, which was somewhat of a concern to doctors, but not to me.  I topped out at almost 200 lbs right before I had my first child.  That was way too much for me.  I'm only 5'2 so I would go so far as to say I was fat.  I didn't lose any weight (at least that I remember) after Emma was born and I slept so little I may have even gained more.  For 2.5 years I was quite large.  Then I got pregnant with Rose.

For the first 2 months I lost maybe 10 lbs - not a concern to me, well except for the non-stop "morning" sickness which I had all day during both my pregnancies, since I was happy to see the scale going down, and then staying the same.  The doctor (and her student doctor) were surprised to see my uterus growing but my weight declining.  I did not gain anything during my pregnancy with Rose, and by the end (after birth) I think was down to 160 lbs.  After her birth I realized at once she was going to be an "easy" child (after my first hellion who only nursed or cried for her first 6 months of life, until she starting being more mobile but still nursed and cried a lot).  Rose was happy to sleep on her own (we co-slept with Emma for a year plus) and she only nursed when she was hungry, and I could put her down awake and she would stay asleep - all the most wonderous things a small baby can do to make a parent happy.

So I thought maybe I could try to get rid of a bit more of this extra weight, and I signed up with My Fitness Pal and tried tracking my calories.  I was already down to a size 12 from the 14s and 16s I was wearing before I got back into my maternity clothes, and I had to buy new clothes to go back to work after my maternity leave.  My Fitness Pal was actually great for allowing me to see where I was eating too many calories.  So I tried to just eat a "serving" of each food I was eating (unless it was vegetables) and made an effort to cut back on eating at night and having too much junk.  And you know what?  It worked!  I still eat everything I was eating before - just not as much - and I am (slightly) more active - I put on music and dance when I'm doing housework, and I've got a parking spot about 6 blocks from my workplace - and I'm happy with my weight right now.  My youngest is now 4, so after about 3 years I've lost almost 30 lbs.  Now my struggle is finding new clothes that fit.  I can't really wrap my mind around the idea that I'm a size 6 now!  That and I hate spending money on clothes when I have a whole closet full of stuff to wear, even though it doesn't fit!

Moral of the story - don't give up, and small changes really do add up.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin now, and I have more energy for playing with the girls.  Life is good.

Toodles!