Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's the two X chromosomes. Maybe it was the acting of birthing out these children. Maybe it's just my dumb luck. But when the girls need help with something (anything) it's "MOM! I need you!"
Hair brushing, bath washing, teeth brushing, clothes choosing (or just helping to put on), food getting, drink filling, swing pushing, walk taking, driving to events, and especially bedtime facilitating - all seem to need Mom. Dad will do if Mom is not around (or is busy, or put her foot down) but he is never really the first choice.
Sometimes I think the kids are jealous of my book, computer, quiet time, dishes doing, laundry folding (and putting away), or whatever else I'm trying to do at any point during the day. But that can't be it since they let Dad be on his computer, cut the lawn, cook on the BBQ, or whatever he's trying to do at any point in his day.
Can anyone explain this? I'm open to any theories. If I am not at home I hear they rarely ask about me, or refuse to do things since I'm not there. A big change from a year or two (or maybe three or four) ago when I was needed even when I was not at home (thank goodness for this change!) But if I'm home and I dare to suggest that Dad could put whomever to bed there is usually a sizeable resistance. Again I'll say it's much better now, but they still want me. Most of the time.
People keep telling me I'll miss it when the girls are older and they don't need me. Right now I don't believe that. I know they'll grow out of bedtime stories, and needing help with their clothes, and all that stuff; but at this point I'm kind of excited for the day I don't have to drag them out of bed, ask them 100 times what they'd like for breakfast, and then get it for them, then rush them through eating and getting dressed so we can get out of the house on time.
Life with little kids is always an interesting adventure. No two days are the same, and no one will eat the same food twice. But there is one constant - needing Mom. I love that they need me. I enjoy the mom-kid time. But sometimes it's just too much. I'm so glad I have a loving husband along on this journey who's ready and able to wrangle the kids when I've really just had too much.
As much as it stifles me to "be needed" all the time, I think I will miss this as my young one grows up.
ReplyDeleteBut as you said once in a while it gets a bit too much:)
#Momsterlink
FarZain
@http://colorsofourrainbow.blogspot.ae/
I know I'll miss the "need"ing once it's gone, but some days I just can't take any more! Thanks for the comment. :)
DeleteI know exactly what you are talking about. My husband works A LOT between his regular hours and overtime he is just non-existent during work days. But he gets blocks of days off at a time and so he will be here for 4 or 5 days in a row and the children act as if he is invisible and SO DOES HE! He seems to think that parenting is my "job" and I have to remind him that noooooo...parenting isn't a job...my job is taking care of the house and the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, everything that isn't taking care of the kids. He seems to have the notion that when his days off roll around that he's just supposed to be able to whatever he wants. It's so frustrating and so now I just tell him I have an appt somewhere and that he's going to have to step it up. Next thing I will be going on a vacation by myself ;O) And yes the kids never yell dad when he is home...it's ALWAYS mom! Thank you for sharing this with #momsterslink. Hope you will link up again today, Saturday, or Sunday.
ReplyDeleteA vacation by oneself - I can't imagine what that would be like! But I know what you're saying about having to physically remove yourself from the household sometimes, in order to get the spouse to actually do stuff. This week I tried the "can I leave the dishes he put in the sink there until the next night when he needs to get dinner because I'm not home?" Guess what - they were still there the following morning (2 mornings after they were placed in the sink) because he took the kids out for dinner when I wasn't home. *sigh* I love my hubby like crazy, but crazy is how I sometimes feel about the household and all the work! And yes, the kids are still (and may always be) Mommy first.
DeleteOh, and thanks for the comment - and the linky! :D
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