Sunday, 31 May 2015

One of Those Days

Some days I just can't handle my mom life.  Everything irks me: the kids are too loud, the dishes are piled up just for me, everyone's shoes are in the middle of the floor and I can't escape even for 2 minutes.  On these days sometimes I just want to go "home"...until I realize I am home and the "home" I'm thinking of I gave up 15 years ago to move forward into adulthood.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mom life.  These little people who just want to sit with (or on) me all the time just because they love me are fabulous and a continuous sense of wonder and joy in my life.  But once in a while I like some "me" time.  Even when I have time at home without the girls I rarely take time just for me.  I'll go get groceries and do dishes and laundry, sweep the floors, and clean up the toys that I keep stepping on, before everyone gets home to eat the food, dirty the dishes and create more mess and laundry.  It's a vicious cycle.

Now that I'm blogging (which I am enjoying immensely by the way) I've taken away a few more of those quiet minutes I try to sneak during the day.  But the writing actually allows me to unburden myself of some of those feelings that get pent up when you are frustrated with your kids or family.  I really don't want to yell at the kids, or be upset with my hubby, when I don't know why I'm frustrated in the first place.  So by taking time out to write about it I can feel my feelings and describe what went on (if I really want to) and work through it.  For me it's quite therapeutic.

In case you haven't picked up on it, it's been one of 'those' weekends.  Hubby was away all day yesterday so I had to deal with every need/want/crisis etc that cropped up.  Thankfully it was an alright day, but when the neighbour kids congregate in our yard I feel like I have to "mom" them too, and so I truck out snacks and drinks and whatever else they may need as well as tending to my own offspring.  I love that the kids like to play in our yard, and it keeps it easy for me to watch over them (without helicoptering) but sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  Sometimes when I'm alone after the kids go to bed I just sit and have a little cry, and I don't really even know why, but it releases some of the tension I was feeling during the day.

I don't think it's too much to ask to be able to drink my tea while it's hot, or surf the internet for 5 minutes without someone climbing into my lap and demanding to "play games!" or even read a book for more than 2 minutes at a time (and subsequently reading the same two pages over and over.)  But I guess such is the life of a mom!


Saturday, 30 May 2015

Pregnancies and Weight Stuggles

I was at my heaviest when I was pregnant with my first baby.  Makes sense, right?  Well yes, and no.  I went ahead and had a second baby and I did not gain any weight, except maybe 5 lbs at the very end.  In fact I started that pregnancy losing weight, which was somewhat of a concern to doctors, but not to me.  I topped out at almost 200 lbs right before I had my first child.  That was way too much for me.  I'm only 5'2 so I would go so far as to say I was fat.  I didn't lose any weight (at least that I remember) after Emma was born and I slept so little I may have even gained more.  For 2.5 years I was quite large.  Then I got pregnant with Rose.

For the first 2 months I lost maybe 10 lbs - not a concern to me, well except for the non-stop "morning" sickness which I had all day during both my pregnancies, since I was happy to see the scale going down, and then staying the same.  The doctor (and her student doctor) were surprised to see my uterus growing but my weight declining.  I did not gain anything during my pregnancy with Rose, and by the end (after birth) I think was down to 160 lbs.  After her birth I realized at once she was going to be an "easy" child (after my first hellion who only nursed or cried for her first 6 months of life, until she starting being more mobile but still nursed and cried a lot).  Rose was happy to sleep on her own (we co-slept with Emma for a year plus) and she only nursed when she was hungry, and I could put her down awake and she would stay asleep - all the most wonderous things a small baby can do to make a parent happy.

So I thought maybe I could try to get rid of a bit more of this extra weight, and I signed up with My Fitness Pal and tried tracking my calories.  I was already down to a size 12 from the 14s and 16s I was wearing before I got back into my maternity clothes, and I had to buy new clothes to go back to work after my maternity leave.  My Fitness Pal was actually great for allowing me to see where I was eating too many calories.  So I tried to just eat a "serving" of each food I was eating (unless it was vegetables) and made an effort to cut back on eating at night and having too much junk.  And you know what?  It worked!  I still eat everything I was eating before - just not as much - and I am (slightly) more active - I put on music and dance when I'm doing housework, and I've got a parking spot about 6 blocks from my workplace - and I'm happy with my weight right now.  My youngest is now 4, so after about 3 years I've lost almost 30 lbs.  Now my struggle is finding new clothes that fit.  I can't really wrap my mind around the idea that I'm a size 6 now!  That and I hate spending money on clothes when I have a whole closet full of stuff to wear, even though it doesn't fit!

Moral of the story - don't give up, and small changes really do add up.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin now, and I have more energy for playing with the girls.  Life is good.


Friday, 29 May 2015

Staying Active

I need some ideas and inspiration. Where do you other busy moms (and dads) fit exercise into your weeks? I try really hard to sneak crunches or squats into my days - at work, while the kids are playing, sometimes even in the washroom (if I was lucky enough to be alone to do my business!)  On Wednesdays I usually manage a workout of some sort, usually a walk with a few minutes of jog thrown in. I also garden, which can be a great workout in itself, and I park 10 minutes from work which helps me the other days of the week.

Does anyone have other suggestions of "activity" I could sneak into a week, or a day?   Please comment if you do - I need more inspiration!


Neighbourhood Community

I live in a very nice neighbourhood.  There are lots of kids close by for my 2 girls to play with, there is a park across the street, and most of the people are friendly.  I really enjoy being in this area of town.

My next-door neighbours (we live in a semi-detached, so my attached neighbours) have sold their house.  I'm a little apprehensive.  I quite enjoy the neighbours we have now and I can only hope the next ones are as nice.  The girls are excited to see who moves in as the two boys next door are a little older (8 and 10 ish) and they are loud in their home so we hear them sometimes stomping up the stairs and such.  I tried to warn the girls that the next people may not be any quieter.

The bus for the girl's school stops on the street behind us so we have to walk halfway around the block to catch it.  One other girl from my daughter's grade 1 class gets on with her, as well as 2 brothers.  The parents are so nice and try hard to be friendly and chatty at the stop while we're waiting.  Sadly the 2 brothers are also moving out of the neighbourhood after this school year, but in the fall my youngest will be starting school also and maybe there will be other, younger, children close by starting as well.

I find it funny that each street has it's own complement of kids who play together.  Sometimes Emma (my eldest) goes around the corner to play with the little girl in her class who gets on the bus with her.  Around there she would play with about 5 kids of various ages and who go to different schools, but when at home playing there is one "best friend" girl who lives across the street and then 2 regular other kids who play with them, sometimes adding a couple older kids who live further down the street.  Mostly the kids on our street do not mingle, or maybe even know, the kids on the other street.  Also the boys next door have a group of kids they play with who don't really intersect with the kids my girls play with.  Childhood friendships can be quite intricate things!

I wonder if part of the separation has to do with the "helicopter parent" generation versus the "free range" idea of parenting.  I have no problem with Emma (who is 6 1/2) walking around the corner to play with the other kids or crossing the street to go to the park unsupervised, but that was how I was brought up - go play until the streetlights come on mentality.  I know parenting has changed, but my personal belief is that they world is no worse now (crime etc) that when we were kids, it's just that hear about every single thing now that media forces everything into your face over many many technology platforms.

My hope is that my kids have a fun and memorable childhood like I did, and that I can let them be independent and safe at the same time.


Thursday, 28 May 2015

Am I A Writer Now?

I love books.  I am a voracious reader (when I have time to be).  I used to read 2 books a week, then I had kids.   But since at least highschool I have wanted to write.  I could make up characters (loosely based on my friends) and I could come up with almost-interesting stories but nothing that was great.  I didn't - and still don't - have the creativity or imagination necessary to create worlds where characters did neat stuff and had interesting lives.  So now I'm a blogger.  Does that count as writing?

I'm going to say "YES!"  I feel like it is so much easier to write about my life than to make up a - potentially more interesting - life that I would always have to create.  I hope someone out there finds it interesting enough to keep tuned in.  I have always been one to try to remember every cool thing that happened in a day so I can come home and tell someone: my parents, my friends, and now my husband and kids.  Writing it down and sharing with others who may be thinking the same things or experiencing the same traumas or celebrations makes me feel good.  So that's why I'm blogging.  In case you were wondering.


This Mom's Week

A normal week for me consists of working Mondays and Thursdays 9:30 til 6; Tuesday 8:30 til 5; and Friday 9:30 til 6.  Sometimes these hours change, occasionally there's a Saturday shift, but generally Wednesdays are my day for myself (and by that I mean my day to catch up on housework and grocery shopping).

On Saturdays my youngest has her dance class at 10:30am.  The rest of the day is "free."  On Sundays the girl's Nanny takes them to church and often keeps them for the day, so more "free time" until dinner when the family gathers to eat together - which I think is a great tradition to continue.  Monday nights I leave work and pick up my oldest from her 2 hours of dance class which ends at 6:30 and then whisk her home to eat and do homework and whatever other evening tasks are necessary before 8pm bedtime.  Luckily my husband keeps my 4 year old and gets her to bed before we even make it home.  Tuesdays are similar where my eldest goes to her "modelling class" until 6:30 and then I have to get the girls (hubby keeps the younger one with him at work), do dinner for both the girls and get the younger to bed before meltdown time (which is anytime between 7 and 7:30).  The rest of the week is usually more relaxed, thankfully, and I can actually spend time with the girls.

I've gotta get to work - more later!


First Post

I am a busy Mom with 2 young girls.  I am just trying to life a happy, healthy, active, relaxed, busy, wholesome (and many other adjectives) life.  This blog will be about my personal struggles, achievements, worries, hobbies, and food and exercise journeys and so much more.  Stay tuned and we can discover, together, how well I'm leading the life I tried to describe above!

If you want to read about my daughters and their busy lives, check out